Journal Entry 3

I didn't realize I would be writing about relationships so much this week. I guess I should start like an advice column in the local newspaper or something.

I don't mean to seem obsessed with the subject. I just realized that I had forgotten to post my journal entries for my English class. So, to attempt and write everyday, when I don't have anything to say i'll throw one of my journal entries in!

The two best little brothers in the whole world.
I couldn't put pictures of the boys I refer to later on... I didn't think it was appropriate.
So, I put the next best thing to boyfriends... brothers.

Journal Prompt: "What does it mean to fall in love?  Have you ever fallen in love?"

What is love?

Dictionary.com defines love as:

1. 1.       A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. 2.       A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend.

I’m not sure how reliable this is as a source since some of the other definitions were “sexual passion or desire, sexual intercourse and an affair with another person.”

Many popular artists and songs sing about love. In fact you’d be hard pressed to find a song that was written about something other than love. Either about how wonderful love is, how the singer has a broken heart or how much they want/need someone to love. 

I am, however, a big fan of those songs, and singers that sing about love (and teenage angst aka Taylor Swift).  Love sells. Love sells records, dresses, flowers, rings, candy, cakes and all sorts of random assortments. As humans we are addicted to the idea of being in love. I mean we have a whole holiday devoted to love. No one wants to be single and everyone is looking for that someone special to spend the rest of their life with. That’s just how it is.

And as far as I’m concerned… I’m right beside all the other lovesick people in this world. I buy the songs they play on the radio. I have a love song playlist on my iPod. I enjoy going on dates. In fact, I have made a list of qualities I want in my “perfect” guy. Not that I’m looking for anyone anytime soon.

I believe that I have been in love three times. Yes, three times in my young eighteen years. One of those times is the second definition of love however. I love my family. I love them more than I anyone else in this world. I love my mom. She is amazing and one of my best friends. I love my dad. He is the epitome of the perfect guy. Hands down, best dad ever. My brothers? Are the best. End of story. And, you can’t forget my Grandma. I look up to her and care about her more than I think even I know. She is one of the best examples I’ve been fortunate to have in my life. (And of course I love my extended family. That’s just how it works. Well, for me at least.)

The other two times differ as well. The first time was with my first “real” boyfriend. Whatever that means. I fell in love with the kid. He was funny. He was smart. He had an amazing family. And he thought I was the (insert any sappy, romantic, loving phrase here).  I was happy whenever I was around him. We did everything together. We were “going out” for like 6 or 7 months. He never kissed me, and over time that love developed into more of a brotherly love. I began to look at him as a brother or best friend instead of a boyfriend. But, heaven knows I loved the kid. Just differently. Instead of wanting to hold his hand and to cuddle on the couch , I started just wanting to talk, to hang out and go crazy. Don’t get me wrong, the physical is by NO means the most important thing in a relationship. There just wasn’t any there. And so the relationship slowly changed. I was probably stupid for ending it. But, my feelings changed. We were best friends for a long time after that. And I loved that. He taught me what it was like to share everything with someone else. To share secrets, friends, food, fun you name it. I had fun. I miss that sometimes.

The second time was a couple months after the previous relationship. There was something different about this though. It was the same type of love, I think. I enjoyed spending every second I could with this guy. We could talk about anything and we always had a lot of fun. There was however, the element of protection involved. He didn’t have an ideal home life like I had. And, I always felt bad for him. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted him to not worry about that. I loved him in a different way than the boy mentioned above.  I wanted to help him. I especially liked that he went to my school and I was able to flaunt him around school. He was funny, he was loved by my family, he was good to his parents, he was nice, he was outgoing and made friends easy and he was sweet and wanted to make me happy. We had a good, fun-loving relationship. It was at times tumultuous (but always behind the scenes). I always had a good time when he was around. He, for the most part, shared my sense of humor. He let me tease him. And he thought I was amazing. We could talk on the phone for hours and I was happy. There’s no need to go into details. But, we ended up breaking up. It was a rough ending to what was (for the most part) a really good relationship. Things ended. We weren’t really on speaking terms. I was done with it. That was until the first weeks of January. I had dated a couple other guys in the months that passed. When suddenly I realized I did still care about him. I wanted him to be mine again. Turns out he missed me as well. We dated again for an additional like 5 or 6 months. (So, the first time was around 8 months, we were off for 6 or 7 months. And then the final 5 or 6 months. A big portion of my life ha).

I am missing in both examples quite a few components that I wanted to share but, because I didn't plan out my journal entry they didn't fit in as well as i'd hoped. Oh well. There was more to both relationships. I just dunno how to put them in.

Now, inexperienced an immature as I’m sure I am to some people, that is the extent of my “love life.” There were a couple other boys I dated/liked thrown in that mix. But, nothing like those two boys. Love is complicated and simple. Love is overrated and underrated at the same time. Something I’ve learned though is love is worth it. Make it count. Make it something special.

English Journal #2

This week's prompt is:  (And while I should've done this Sunday... I'm finally doing it now!) 

          

          "  People used to believe that comets were “portents”—warnings from God that let them know their standing with Him.  When the law of gravity was discovered, however, they found that comets traveled in predictable orbits dictated by the law of gravity and they stopped believing that God sent them as warning.  Before the discovery of the law of gravity there were (essentially) no (Western) atheists.  But afterwards, atheism was a significant theological movement.  Is there an inherent contradiction between science and religion?  Can you believe in God and gravity at the same time?"

I think that there is an inherent contradiction between science and religion simply because as long as there is religion and God there will always be someone working to prove it wrong. Before they may not have been working to strictly disprove the idea of God but in succeeding to prove that there IS in fact a scientific explanation they discover a way to remove God. 

I believe that in anything and everything there is reason to trust that there is a God. Especially when it comes to science! There is no other explanation for the way that things work so perfectly like they do. Gravity is just one of many scientific principles that work all to well to just be chance. 

The Principle of Gravity

I'd go and explain just what all that picture means, but i'm in physical science this semester and am NOT feelin' it. That class is the DEATH of me. I am not a big fan of science so, the explanation of God works just fine for me. I am not one to seek out answers when it comes to the earth and gravity and all that scientific nonsense! Well, not nonsense, I do believe in some of what they say as well. But, I think that there will forever be a permanent contradiction between any science and God. The big bang theory is another example of science vs. God. 

The idea that the world was created by a huge explosion of dust and other space particles just doesn't add up to me. How someone can believe that is incredible! I think that scientists are afraid of religion for the most part, afraid of conforming and finding out that so much of what they DO believe is wrong. Especially since I just took a trip to our planetarium and looked up at the sky and the stars, everything is too perfect to just be chance.

The "Eye of God"  I thought it looked cool.

Journal For English #1

For part of my English grade I am to keep a journal. However, I have to write in response to the prompts she gives us. My first one is "1.      Think about a big project or assignment you're going to have to do this semester (for any of your classes).  Write for twenty minutes about possible ways to divide the assignment into smaller bits that can be done a little at a time."

The worst project I will have to do this semester are my simple quizzes for anthropology. Because my professor has a sick sense of humor, the simple quizzes are ANYTHING but simple. The simple quiz MUST be a "perfectly structured essay, admirable in every detail, on the following theme..." (Fill in the blank with a prompt that is a paragraph in length and asks us to "draw extensively on the book for examples." It also must be "2332 words of truth and beauty." Now, this wouldn't be such a daunting task if it was just ONE of these, but no, I have THREE to do this semester. The final exam will also be a lengthy paper! So much writing for just one class! And on top of it we have so much additional work! It's insane! High school in NO way prepares you for this type of learning and expectation! 

I will divide these assignments into smaller bits by doing just that. I will try to take time to do some work for the upcoming simple quiz each week. Whether it is the assigned reading for the essay, understanding the prompt in its entirety, re-reading the chapters looking for examples, writing the essay and actually attending the lectures. This, however, is not an easy task for me. Simply because I AM A PROCRASTINATOR. It's hard to find a student who isn't these days. Also I am used to a school where the teachers tell you EXACTLY  what they are looking for and WHEN it is due! All this uncertainty of when things are due and what exactly is assigned is extremely overwhelming and makes me extremely nervous!

1. Reading for the essay. I am attempting to keep up with my reading (not just for this class but for all). The key word is attempting. I have a minimum of 2 books for each class that I am taking. It's crazy. And unreal. Like I said overwhelming. I often lose track of where I am in what book, and what I am supposed to be looking for. But, I do enjoy reading and am trying to make the best of this assignment. 

2. Understanding the prompt. We are discussing the prompt in my anthropology labs. It is a lot easier to focus in that class as it is so small and the teacher seems to want to help. It is taught by a student, one who has taken his class before and that too is nice. It seems like a good resource and I WILL be taking advantage of it.

3. Re-reading the chapters will take some time. But, I do have a general idea as to where some of the examples are. Plus the TA is taking quotes from each of us and making a website, a sort of database, full of quotes we can use in our paper.

4. Writing the essay and attending the lectures are easier said than done. Well, writing at least. But, I do need to get a head start on that paper. As it hangs over my head. Its quite frightening actually, this whole college classwork thing. I'll be lucky to graduate alive. :)