Perspective...

I love definitions. I feel like Webster really just says it best. As I looked up the definition of perspective for this post, I came across various definition. However, the one that fits best is was...

Perspective: a true understanding of the relative importance of things.

Too often we are flying through life in a high speed chase, rushing from deadline to deadline that even the smallest road bumps irritate us more than they should. 

For example, as I sat in the Doctor's office today my mom called me on the phone. As we sat there, just chatting away she began telling me how to talk to the Doctor. Immediately I was irritated. Did she not KNOW how old I was? I mean I'm 20. Surely if I can live across the country on my own, she doesn't think I am completely incompetent. I mean how hard is it to tell the Doctor your symptoms? In just a year and a half, I'll be a College Graduate. As my exasperation grew, she concluded her speech on what/how to talk to the Doctor. We concluded our conversation with me in a far worse mood than a sensible human being should have been in.

As I sat there and I put my phone down... I began to focus all my energy on my intelligence which had so effortlessly (and unintentionally) been insulted. As I began to think even harder on how "mature" I actually was (oh, the irony), my frustrations ensued. 

And then... like a giant slap to my face, I stopped. As I sat there, and took a step back I became instantly grateful. My mom is wonderful, I know that. You know that. My blog is dripping with those words. My mom is wonderful. But, even more than that... I have a mom. If there is one thing we take for granted it's family. The children who changed my life so effortlessly in Ecuador this Summer have no parents. They have no mom to take them to the doctor, and will never have an experience similar to the one I had today. 

My attitude became one of disappointment in the way I had handled the situation and grateful for the many blessings I take for granted on a daily basis. 

Perspective: a true understanding of the relative importance of things.

My caring mother with my best interest in mind. My inner frustrations at being an independent, twenty-one year old adult who can handle things herself. The millions of children who go without every single day. One of these is not like the other. 

Take the opportunity to step back. To check your perspective on even the simplest and smallest events in your life. Find what's important... and act on it. 

Feliz Dia de las Madres!!

Happy Mother’s Day!

For the first time in my life I feel like I can truly understand what it feels like to be a mom. While none of the kids that I am with are my own, they might as well be. I love these kids. I love their snotty noses, their poopy diapers, the moments when they are whiny and even the times when I have to do a little bit of discipline. I have fallen in love with the kids from the 1 month old to the older girls at girls house.

Since being here I have learned that being a mom is more than just loving the good moments. I have a greater appreciation for everything my mom has ever done for me.  

Being a mom is being a cheerleader on the day when one of the babies takes her first steps. It's being the cleaning lady at the end of the day when you are tired and there are (what seems like) thousands of toys to pick up. It's being the cook (which we don't do) and the "feeder" on days when no one wants to eat and you're covered in goo. It's being the nurse and helping take out stitches, administer cold medicine (I know I gave my parents a run for their money in that area), holding down babies to rewrap their fingers. It's being a teacher and counting stairs as you walk up and down them. It's being the role model and correcting bad behavior and showing that it's way better to be kind than cool. It's being the coach and showing them how to run, throw, catch and somersault. But, most importantly it... being a mom is being a mom. It's a tricky combination of the impossible, tears, stress and hope. Being a mom is all about love. 

I have learned to love as my own mother (and with a little help from these kids) taught me. I love my mom. 

My mother is my ultimate role model (she and my grandmother). My mom exemplifies all of those qualities ten fold. She has been my friend, my cheerleader (even when she wishes I had been the one cheering ;)  ), my anchor, my best friend and most importantly my example. I am excited for my own family because of the pattern she has set for me. I am excited to love my children as perfectly as she has loved me. 

Even in my years of teenage angst and downright rudeness she was there. If there is own thing I took for granted it was coming home every afternoon from school to the smiling face of the woman who loves me more than anyone else. I took for granted sitting at night on her bed laughing with my brothers (which we now do around the holidays), I took for granted her selflessly making dinners she thought we would like EVERY night for dinner. I took for granted her throwing my friends cookie parties and making my house a place people wanted to be. 

I miss my mom all the time. I used to want all boys. However, with the way I love my mom... I NEED A GIRL. I cannot wait for my future family... I cannot wait for my kids and to tell them all about my first babies, the ones I took care of for 2 months.

My heart has been stolen. So to all you mother's out there... thank you. Thank you for loving your children the way that they should. And think about adopting my beautiful babies in Ecuador. They need some love too.

Mom, I love you. Thank you for everything.

Happy Mother's Day. 

Thanksgiving Break!!

I want to be more creative and less "loggish," but how do you tell about an elapsed period of time without it coming off as a planner or schedule of your day to day life? Easy, you post pictures and tell a story about them. Right? I dunno. But, who cares that is how I am doing it!

The above pictures are of my mom, Marissa, me and my Aunt Brenda. :) We all were wearing black except Mariss who must not have gotten the memo ;) and took some pictures. Someone had the brilliant idea that our heads should all touch... so you get the first picture of me making it so each of our heads touch. Those 3 women are some of my closest family, friends and supporters (cheerleaders?). I love them more than I could ever write about.

Oh brother! Oh brother. Oh brother. I have to say it 3 times because... I have 3. I love these guys! Having Hayden and Blake out for even just a short period of time was much needed! I miss them all the time! They are wonderful boys. We toured Rexburg because Hayden may be at school there next year! He already got in! Stud huh? And Chase, is one of my best friends. He is always there when I need him. I loved having Living Prophets with him and being able to hear his testimony on a daily basis. He is an amazing man!

Me and my dad got to bond on Tuesday! I took a nasty fall snowboarding. First they thought I had a concussion, then they suspected a fractured C2 on my spine. All jibberish to me... but, it was enough to land me on a backboard and a fun ride in the ambulance! Party! :) My dad was so sweet and stayed with me the whole time. He has always been such a wonderful example of the type of man I hope to marry. He is also the very best man I know. And, I am sure he is up there on most everyone's list! I love him. I was able to receive a priesthood blessing from him and Chase. Afterwards the doctors came back... said "Wow! Nothing is wrong. We can give you the all clear!" And thus ended the bonding time that Chase, Me and my parents had shared. 

I guess the first picture should have come a little sooner. But, that is us snowboarding. It is missing Terry and Hayden. I know Terry took the picture... so I am confused as to where Hayden went?

I got a cute new sweater from H&M from my Mom. :) She's the best.

I went out for a night on the town with Mariss, a boy she "met" snowboarding and Tim. Tim and I went as friends, and guardians to protect my cousin if he turned out to be shady. Tyler was actually quite nice and the 4 of us had a good time. It was very bittersweet. I did have fun. But, memories came flooding back of William and our adventures at the Nicklecade and gallabanting nonsensically throughout Provo. Anyway, it was way fun! We went to dinner and I had greek for the first time... it was pretty good. Then we went laser tagging and played arcade games. It was actually a really good date idea for those of you who are looking to take that special someone somewhere fun for the holidays. ;)

I loved having my family come up. It's really sad without them just around the corner! I love being at college but, I do wish that they were closer than a 3 day car ride or a 300$ plane ticket away. Kinda stinks. They are amazing!! 

I loved having my mom there. Even if I was second best to someone else (sorry low blow? ;)  ) I absolutely loved every minute I had with her alone. 

I concluded my break with a trip to Salt Lake City to see the lights. It was for FHE on Monday night. I took these pictures cause they reminded me of my family. Because, at one point we were going to go see them together. They were beautiful!

The annual pink lights that remind me so much of my perfect mother. :) 

Other random facts from my break:

• The Gantts and Martins also came and spent Thanksgiving at the Millgates. 
• I got to meet Mariah for the first time!
• The Gantts brought Georgia.
• I was sick most of the break. Boo.
• My mom made dumplings for the first time... they sound better than they look. And I am sure tasted amazing!
• I went bowling, mini golfing and drove bumper cars... all in one day. A marathon event... yes. Well worth it? Strictly for the company!
• I got to see Chantelle and her cute apartment.
• I got to tour BYU-I and saw, kensington gardens and the mayan ruins. Didn't know they had those there did you?
• I GOT TO SEE MY AWESOME FAMILY!!!

Christmas break can't get here soon enough! :) I miss them already. 

College Round 2

I just got news about my used to be major. I was a communications disorders major. I went to their office and found out that the job I was describing has a name... Occupational Therapy. A major only offered at the University of Utah. And it was weird. Yesterday, as I started classes... I just got weird about my choice to make Communications Disorders my major. So, I went to the advisement center. To say they were very little help... would be an understatement.

I don't really know what I want to do. What I want to be. And I don't like my Interior Design class already. The teacher just rubs me wrong. So, square one. I miss William. I have no idea what I want to do. If I should drop classes. Agh. It's frustrating. And I want to cry. But, I'm stuck in this library tearing up all while trying to act normal.

Anyway, I just don't really know. And it's frustrating. And I just don't know. And I keep saying that. But, that's really all I can think of to say.

My room looks awesome. My mom is amazing. Gosh. I really am so lucky to have her. And my dad. He really is the most wonderful man alive.

Anyway, we worked really hard. We got down there Wednesday, and with a lot of help unpacked the car and attempted to clean and decorate the room. It was a daunting task that would take 3 days. Here is what we started with:

We slept there and the next day got right to work. We spent the next couple days cleaning, running to the store, visiting Chase and more decorating. Finally, my room was complete. And it looks splendid. I can’t express in words how much time and effort went into this room. And I can express even less how much I enjoyed having my mom come and help. It was something I know I could never have accomplished without her. She is always there when I need her… except for when I called her on the phone today. ;) Just kidding. And I loved having her here in Provo with me.

Here is my room and a description of how lovely it all looks.

This is my side of the room. For the most part. Complete with all my valuables and bedding. And of course the necessary pictures of some of my loved ones!! That is the shelf we bought. It came in handy and has been a major asset! As you can see. That little Minion. Well... her name is Bianca Flowers. The third roommate. 

Wider angle of my half. I have my study area. And a better picture of the bed and what it looks like when it's all made up. 

This is my desk. Behind it ... my collection of waterbottles. And then there is my book bag. Filled.

This is my closet. It has all my favorite pictures of people on it. With room for some to be added. My jewelry is off to the side and then leaking onto the door. I forgot to take a shot of inside my closets. So, maybe later.

This is our kitchen. I mainly put it up because I was able to bring a little piece of home back with me... The Rita's poster!!

On and behind our bedroom door. It has my poster! William's mother made it for me. And then the wreath on the door that Jessie made. As you can see everything matches perfectly. Down to the posters. ;)

This is the dresser with world's teeniest drawers. And then my wall which kind of leaked onto Jenna's half but, I don't think she mind. That's Justin Bieber... looking classy as ever. 

A shelf on my desk. Used to hold all the books I will be reading this year. Yes. All of those. :(

Our serving area is small in comparison to the eating area. Or maybe this is the cooking area and where the table is, is the eating area. I don't really know. Either way, that part of the kitchen is small. 

Our living room. We have 2 couches and a massive TV. The TV came with the apartment. We have yet to buy or install cable. Which is fine with me, because if I'm watching anything... it's a movie. 

This is the bathroom. Not much more I can say on that. Oh! There is a poster of Wall-E behind the door and one of William Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean above the toilet. 

Just another view of my desk and my bed. 

My "shrine" (and I use that word lightly) picture turned out blurry. So, when I open my hallway closet and then my actual room closet... I'll take pictures and include them on a later blog. 

My original post was going to be more upbeat. But, I am in kind of a bummed mood. And just don’t know what I want to do. Or anything. So… sorry for this lame post.

Recap: I am majorless. I don’t know what I want to do. I can’t think of what I’m good at and help apply it to a career. I am missing William like crazy, Provo is doing me in slowly. And I love my mom and have the BEST room ever. On a plus side I am trying to be social and make friends in my ward. It is coming along slowly, but I am trying.

P.s. My mom is the best. 

Best Friends.

Living at home this summer as made me realize, I have all I need right here.

"If home is where the heart is, then my home is where you are." -Relient K

My heart truly lies with my parents. And a little sliver of it is in Mendoza, Argentina. OK. A big sliver.

As much fun as it is to do stuff with friends. I don't need 100 friends to be happy. It has been the summer of my dreams in a lot of ways, but in a lot of ways it has been the exact opposite. It depends on my mood. I am more often than not very happy here. But, as in most situations, my bad moods seem to overpower the good ones. Not bad moods. Bad moments. I don't know what I will do next summer. It's in the air. But, I have time. Thank goodness.

Anyway... I have 5 best friends. Their names are (in all honesty and not in that cheesy kinda way), Linda, Paul, Chase, Hayden and Blake.

I love my parents. I love my brothers. I think we really are unique in how close we are. And how well we all get along. But, I could be wrong. I have people who love me unconditionally and I know I love them like crazy. They are very much so, some of my best friends.

 I've blogged about my family before... so here are the most recent pictures.

I love him. I look up to him. My husband WILL be just like him. 

Call me a daddy's girl or whatever, but I love him. He is everything I want in a husband. He is kind, he is loving and he is easy to talk to. No one is quite like Paul Giler. NO ONE. I miss him terribly at school. don't voice it as much. But, I do. I know I am who I am today because of him. In more than one way. He is an excellent man, a wonderful father and a beautiful example.

I love my parents. Very dearly. I can tell them anything. I have no secrets or shame with them. I can fart in their bed, eat far too big of bites and tease them relentlessly. I can tell them every detail of my weekend activities and I can be far too honest with them. Something I KNOW very few of my friends can say. My parents are unique. I love them as parents. And I love them as friends.

However, my mom is my best friend. Through the thick and thin she is always there. I love you. We may not be twins. We may not be schoolyard pals. But, we are best friends. We are very much a like in our differences. She is wonderful and every bit the woman I aspire to be. I look up to her. I love everything about her. From her high heels to her "sermons" (life lesson seminars she has been known to give to her children), she is my mom. I am HER girl. Something no one else can say. :) Lucky huh?

The Giler's, together we make a family. :)

First Week Home!

So, I am still keeping my blog even though I am living with my mother. They will probably be a little shorter and a little less entertaining as right now my life consists of work, sleeping, and sitting around. With of course the occasional hanging out with friends which I have severely missed!

Which is not to rag on my mother because as she very well knows... she is one of my best friends.

It is good to be home. It is a lot like being thrown back into my senior year all over again... minus the seminary, school and homework. Oh and the other kids my age that are around. So, it's like the summer of my senior year again... only with just me and Aeryn from high school. Which is alright with me. Really there are a couple of other people I would like to add to the mix (Josh, Katie, Cameron, Tiffany, Tom and Morgan). But, I am enjoying having Aeryn all to myself and not making her pick between me and other people. Just one of the perks to being home early I guess.

I went to my home ward for the first time today. It was... interesting. It was FAR louder, FAR colder, much older, and a little bit less interesting and fun than my student ward. Which is to be expected. But, there is something to be said about wards or any organization run by 19 and 20 year old kids. It was a unique experience and I loved every second of it.

I am excited to spend this week with my grams! So, hopefully she is as well. Anyway, I really have to use the restroom... So, i'll end here. But, keep checking back. As I will be attempting to post at least 2 times a week.

Just Really Fast!

Dear Mom,
(And of course my other avid readers)

I am writing because... I FINALLY HAVE NEW PICTURES!! I used Will's camera today! :) So, as soon as I can get those I have a very good post to put up.

Love you all.

Love,
Sophie

Just Thinking Lately... Family. Oh and Growing Up.

I've been thinking lately... I really miss home.

I had a wonderful weekend in which I got to go to Ogden and spend time with my family and friends there. It felt good to be in a house again. A house that came with a mom, a dad (even though he was absent), a refrigerator with food that actually looked appetizing, a home cooked meal, a real bed and family.

I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss Hayden and Blake. I miss my Grandma. I miss my friends. I miss my bed. I miss my house. I miss my car. I miss coming home and talking to my mom about my day. I took a lot for granted and I made a resolution to stop doing that.

I am thankful for the things I have. I am especially thankful for the wonderful memories I have. I can't think of anything I wish would've played out differently. I can't think of any MAJOR decisions I would alter.

I miss my Dad. I miss him everyday. I know I don't call him as much as I should. But, I love him. I am forever thankful for his example. I am so grateful that I am able to be his only daughter. I know that I was blessed and me and my brothers are extremely lucky to have him as our father. He is the sweetest guy I have ever met. Hands down. I want my husband to be my dad. Not like that. I regret not calling him like I should've. I regret not being as nice as I should be. I regret not taking his help on homework with kindness, appreciation and respect. I miss him. I miss his hugs. I miss his dumb comments. Ok, not dumb. I miss his smile and his laugh. I miss seeing him walk into the kitchen after work, looking stunning as usual in his professional attire. I miss sitting by him in Sacrament and him putting his arm around me. I miss his example. I miss talking about really anything and the conversation never being awkward. I miss his forever long Sunday prayers.  I miss him. I think he is wonderful and I love him.

I miss my Mom. I call her almost everyday. And I am forever thankful for the friend, parent, mentor and guidance counselor she is to me.  I know that what I say to her stays with her, and I miss her a lot. I miss climbing on her bed late at night and talking with her. I miss her getting mad at me for making fun of her working out. I miss her talking with my friends. I miss going on car rides/errands with her just for the company.  I miss her incredibly awkward comments about kissing people. I miss seeing her when I talk to her. I miss yelling down the stairs to find out where she is. I miss answering the phone and people mistaking me for her. (An extremely generous compliment as I would have some pretty big shoes to fill). I miss going to find her glasses/purse as she sits on the computer. I miss making fun of some of her whacky clients. I miss her food. I miss sitting on the counter as she makes food. I miss her joking around with us except when we take it too far. I miss playing board games with her cheating/cocky self. I miss the fun times I have had with her and each of my brothers. I miss her genuine interest in my life. I miss her terribly. I miss everything from her designer sunglasses to her calendar with all our appointments to her banning us from food because we complain to coming home and immediately feeling loved by someone especially on the hardest of days.

I love my family. I love them all so very much. I really do. And the more I think about growing up the more I dread it. I have already moved out of my house and to a new state and I can't take much more I don't think. I have never been one to despise or fear change. I have semi-embraced the thrill of finding out who is in my class on the first day of school or the new and different.

But, I am not ready to leave for long periods of time. I miss everything too much. I was blessed beyond measure where family (especially parents) are concerned.

These weird emotional breakdown/catharsis things are getting annoying! (One every semester is too much!) In a way though, I love them. They make me realize what I have and keep me from taking everything for granted. Because I had the life. I have the life. But, I'm not ready to grow up. I need my parents. I need my brothers. This change is one I have mixed feelings about. I'm not sure what i'll do when the time comes to make that change. Probably cry some more. And then put my big girl panties and grow up.

Goodnight.

Valentine's Day! :)

So... Valentines Day was technically yesterday... but really and truly my Valentines Day started... Thursday. :)

There I was walking into my dorm after class when Marie tells me that I have a package waiting for me AND that it's in my room. Excited, I rush to see who it's from. AKA my WONDERFUL and loving mother! :)

I was having an off day! I went to my 10am class and
came home to get ready for REAL. But, Jenna was sick
so Nikole and I took her to the health clinic instead. :)

Me Posing with the box of goodies. :)

I thrust open the box and took out the bag to see all SORTS of awesome treats! :) There was my clothes, a new straightener, nail polish, jewelry galore and more love than a person could ask for! :) So, I had my Mom as my Valentine. She is the best and I love her more than all else! I am sure Susan helped pick out a lot o fthe stuff that was in there, so she too is a Valentine. :) There was also...

The most BEAUTIFUL wreath in all of BYU.
Courtesy of the lovely Jessie, and mailed to me
from my Mother. :) It is hanging next to Jenna's
Jackson Emery poster. 

So, yes, Jessie was also a Valentine as well. :) Thank you Mom, Susan and Jessie. All women who I look up to and admire.

Then today, I came home around 5pm to find a single rose sitting on my kitchen table addressed to me. (It's on the laptop in the picture but it originally was on the table).

Ignore the screen saver slideshow in the background. 

Needless to say at 6:25 I grabbed my coat and started on my "scavenger hunt." I wanted to take my camera and take pictures of each rose but, I forgot! So when I got home I arranged them in order and took a picture of them all.

There is a spot missing. It was one that was placed by a stop sign.
: / I guess I lost it in Anthon's car. (Anthon let us borrow the car to go out).

I followed the clues (I missed one the STOP look over there one). So, we had to go back and grab it. Ha anyways he was at the very end holding the 12th rose. After that we went to The Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner. There was a little bit of a wait (20 min) so, we walked around the mall. After dinner we drove back, exchanged gifts and watched the movie 500 Days of Summer (part of my Valentine's day gift from him). I really REALLY did like the movie. It's not your typical love story, I mean it has a twist. But, it's good nonetheless.

Sam also came home sporting a FAKE engagement ring. She pulled a fast one on me and Jenna. I was in shock and could NOT believe he proposed and how crazy that was until she told me it was a joke. Jenna was also left an anonymous Valentine's package and a bouquet of flowers. We still don't know who it is from.

 Here is our combined flower arrangement:

Mine are on the right, Jennas on the left. 

My 12. :)

It was a good day and I so enjoyed gifts from all my Valentines: Mom, Susan, Jessie and Will. :)

No Pictures.

My mom is gone.  This weekend was beyond needed though. We didn't take any pictures sadly, so there will be none to post. I thought about one of me, but I look a mess today. I promised i'd try to do this everyday, so maybe I will post one of me tomorrow. Because blogs with pictures are ALWAYS more interesting.

I have a LOT of work cut out for me this week. I have a physical science test tomorrow that I am dreading. I am  sure I wont do very good. I'm not very good in that class. Correction: I am good in the class, the test questions are just harder than the ones he gives us as practice. It's rather annoying. I feel unprepared because all the work we do with the TA and in class is so much easier than the tests he makes. College work sucks!

Anthro is too much writing. I have so much to do for one class it's ridiculous. The class is huge. The teacher is arrogant. And wrote most of our reading material. That doesn't make since? How can we learn ANYTHING real about anthropology if all of what we are learning is coming from this one guy? It's dumb. And a lot of work.

Waking up at 7:45 is harder than I thought. Note to Self. NO more 9am classes.

I miss my mom already! I had a blast all weekend. We did a LOT of shopping and eating. But, I feel much more well fed and my spirits are higher than they were previously. It was so good seeing her. She talked to me for awhile on the trampoline at my Aunt B's. Probably one of my more favorite moments, because it was just me and her. Don't get me wrong I LOVED it being me her and chase and even when Mariss and Aunt B joined. But i'd missed that one on one time.

Now. Off. To. More. Homework. YUCK.

Dear Mom,

I sent this to your phone and your email. I'm not sure what you'll check first in the morning. I love you Mom.

Dear Mom,

I miss you SO much. I miss everything about you...

I miss coming home and seeing you there.
I miss having my friends over and them talking about how much they like you.
I miss talking to you.
I miss pestering and bugging the living mess out of you.
I miss your laugh.
I miss your smile.
I miss sitting down in a cafeteria and eating a lunch I know you made.
I miss your hugs.
I miss joking around with you.
I miss me, you and Aeryn talking.
I miss coming home and seeing you on the computer.
I miss Hayden, Blake and Dad too.
I miss Grams. I miss her tons too.
I only cried a little when writing this.
I don't want puffy eyes tomorrow.
I love you.
You were right... I am curled up on my bed thinking how much I miss my Mom.
I miss your secrets and the things I can't tell anyone.
I miss YOU mom.
I miss you lots.

You really are the best.
I cant wait till Christmas... Here's my list of things I want:
I'm teasing.
I do love you though.
And I miss you.
There is no one quite like you.
You mean the world to me.
I love you.

Goodnight.

I miss you.

Just so everyone else wouldn't feel so left out.

I miss him too.

:)

Only our family knows what this means... Family Business.

I love you!

Aunt B made her appearance. :)
Miss this... and you.

Twins? ;)

LOVE YOU MOM.