Up and Running...

While the title of this post might allude that I have started exercising sadly (and happily!), it does not. Instead it refers to the total makeover of my once antiquated and unkempt blog.

I am proud to introduce the new look. All thanks to one of my bestys: Emma. 

You can check out her blog too: http://prettymuchalmost.blogspot.com/

Anyway, this is kinda monumental. It's second only to my birthday. Anyway, I love it. And I love her. Welcome back to 2013 blog. 

Emma is the one next to me in red. Love her. Love them.

I Believe In...

I've been thinking a lot about that Audrey Hepburn quote (see previous post), since I posted it. I quite like it actually. So... I decided to make one of my own.

But, I liked Audrey's so much [first name basis!] that I had to keep hers at the forefront of mine:

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

I believe (in all of that and...) in long conversations with good friends. I believe in laughing longer and harder than necessary. I believe that all batter bowls should be licked cleaned. I believe in riding that fine line that sits on too much fun and just enough work.  I believe in compliments, getting them but mainly giving them. I believe that love will outlast all things. I believe that moving forward is the only option. I believe that families are forever. I believe in the beach and going as frequently as possible. I believe that money should always be used on/for what you love. I believe in traveling often. I believe in spreading happiness. I believe in serving others. I believe in smiles.  I believe that you always have a choice. I believe that there is a God and He has a plan. I believe that who we were isn't near as important as who we've become. I believe in seeing and creating miracles in every day. I believe that limitations are self imposed. I believe in dreaming big. I believe that we are always capable of more than we can imagine. I believe that people come first. I believe in friendship. I believe in saying at least one kind thing, every hour. I believe.. in making each day count.  

 

What do you believe in?

 

**If you read. You MUST comment. Answer the question above. Feedback. Anything.  

 

 

My Main Girl Audrey...

You know who has some really good quotes? Audrey Hepburn. She also has a really good face, figure, style and class. 

 My mom always jokes around and says in her next life she's going to look like Audrey Hepburn. If that's the case I think we are going to be twins. 

 One of my [many] favorite quotes from her is:

 

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” 

 

Amen.  That's really all I have to say about that. Is amen Audrey. Amen.

 

2013

2013!

So... I tried to make my font just a little more exciting. And well, with the lack of options blogger offers... I ended up with a poorly colored title and the unavoidable tacky bright yellow that I am positive no one can actually read. 

Let's see... 2013 is going to be good. I am excited! Bring it on!

• I am officially into the major (but, that's old news). Which means all of my classes finally pertain to what I am studying. Which is Elementary Education. 
• I am taking 17 credit hours, working 20 hours a week and working out in the evenings Mon-Thurs. This makes for a VERY crazy and packed work week.
• I am in charge of Research Experience for Undergraduates in the Physics and Astronomy Department for Brigham Young University. (What a title?!)
• I am taking my first ever "spring semester" of college. 
• I am living away from home for an entire full  year. I miss my family. 
• Marissa, my sister, cousin, best friend, PiC, CuZ is getting married on May 3, 2013 to Michael Jensen. And I could NOT be more excited for that. She even asked me to be her Maid of Honor. I cannot hide my excitement. I am almost as excited for it as I think she is! Ahhh!
• And I think that's about it for right now...

You thought I forgot, huh? In the WONDERFUL month of June... Elder William Henderson Daybell comes home from his mission!!!!!  Holy cow. Has it been 2 years yet? Anyone who knows me or knows of me, knows words cannot express how excited I am for that.

It's going to be a good year that's for sure!

It’s been awhile…

It’s been an awful long time since I’ve updated my blog. This happens to be both painfully normal and abnormally unsatisfying. Allow me to explain:

1)     Normal- I never update my blog. Ok, never is too harsh of a word. I have a hard time of consistently updating my blog. Or maybe, I frequently do not update my blog. Yea, basically I struggle.

2)      Painfully- I want to blog. I really do. I think about good posting ideas. And then I even write posts in my head as I walk home/across campus. I just never put them in writing. Blogging time is so elusive that way.

3)      Unsatisfying- I want to blog. And then to have all these thoughts and discussions locked up in my head, it’s very disruptive. I mean think of it from my perspective. You have all these things you are thinking about saying and then never get them out because you’re too busy with school, work and everything else that claims your time. In the words of Mika “The things we left unsaid, are only taking space up in our head.” And some days, my head is very full.

4)      Abnormally- should one really be worried about not blogging? I would think not. But, who am I to make such a general assumption for a large population of half-bloggers (a group to which I belong).

I have nothing too notable happening. Well, except that I am feeling a sort of blog-arthis. or a blog catharsis. (Side note: I just looked up catharsis to make sure it really was the word I wanted to use… and I found that one of the definitions was cleansing or purging of the bowels… Totally using that from here on out.) Well, the definition was an emotional release brought about by an intense emotional experience. And that isn’t exactly the definition my 7^th Grade English teacher taught us when we read the best-selling novel, Into Thin Air by Jon Krakower.

I did not have an intense emotional experience, like previously mentioned, but I do feel like I just want to put some things down in writing.

First: One word…

SUMMER. A word not typically shrouded in uneasiness. In fact in my previous years it’s been nothing but excitement. No school. Going home. Ecuador. Summer jobs. Did I mention no school? Anyway, this year it’s a little more complicated. I just have a lot of things happening. And I need a schedule. Not really until January… but, I am just the planning type. I love spontaneity. But, I like to have my feet under me while I’m running. If that makes any sense at all. (Side note: I am not uneasy for the much anticipated arrival of William Daybell. In fact I am quite the opposite. I can’t wait. In that aspect Summer 2013 can’t come soon enough.)

CANCER. My mom is officially cancer free. Raise the rough. Shout for joy. Or jump for it. Party like a rockstar. And any other phrase/ditty that seems appropriate for the situation. But, really. Holy cow. What a ride? I could not be any happier. And I am hoping with all of me that it remains gone. Or at least far far away… and never comes back. (Lion King, anyone?)

PEOPLE. Allow me to introduce some new people to the blogging sphere. I will most definitely be mentioning them in future posts. Emma. Jen. Kate. Jeff. Mason. Joe. Good friends. I hope to keep them around for a while.

MISSIONS. Aside from the obvious reason I might mention this… everyone is going. Not just boys but girls. And I mean everyone. I have had more invites to mission farewells than I did all freshman year. And that’s impressive because I was in TWO different wards. So, I got a lot of farewell invites. Don’t get me wrong, missions are awesome. In fact, missions are admirable. And wonderful and those who choose to serve have my utmost respect. It’s just, everyone is going.

MARRIAGE. If you’re not going on a mission… you’re engaged. Or newly married. Or having a baby. Again the institution of marriage is a wonderful blessed thing. But, when you’re not going on a mission, with no boyfriend (at least in the country) and everyone else is…

Anyway, Thanksgiving is coming up. I have much to be thankful for. And I fear that this blog has sounded very petty, and annoying and ungrateful. But, I promise I am so thankful. So very very thankful.

Perspective...

I love definitions. I feel like Webster really just says it best. As I looked up the definition of perspective for this post, I came across various definition. However, the one that fits best is was...

Perspective: a true understanding of the relative importance of things.

Too often we are flying through life in a high speed chase, rushing from deadline to deadline that even the smallest road bumps irritate us more than they should. 

For example, as I sat in the Doctor's office today my mom called me on the phone. As we sat there, just chatting away she began telling me how to talk to the Doctor. Immediately I was irritated. Did she not KNOW how old I was? I mean I'm 20. Surely if I can live across the country on my own, she doesn't think I am completely incompetent. I mean how hard is it to tell the Doctor your symptoms? In just a year and a half, I'll be a College Graduate. As my exasperation grew, she concluded her speech on what/how to talk to the Doctor. We concluded our conversation with me in a far worse mood than a sensible human being should have been in.

As I sat there and I put my phone down... I began to focus all my energy on my intelligence which had so effortlessly (and unintentionally) been insulted. As I began to think even harder on how "mature" I actually was (oh, the irony), my frustrations ensued. 

And then... like a giant slap to my face, I stopped. As I sat there, and took a step back I became instantly grateful. My mom is wonderful, I know that. You know that. My blog is dripping with those words. My mom is wonderful. But, even more than that... I have a mom. If there is one thing we take for granted it's family. The children who changed my life so effortlessly in Ecuador this Summer have no parents. They have no mom to take them to the doctor, and will never have an experience similar to the one I had today. 

My attitude became one of disappointment in the way I had handled the situation and grateful for the many blessings I take for granted on a daily basis. 

Perspective: a true understanding of the relative importance of things.

My caring mother with my best interest in mind. My inner frustrations at being an independent, twenty-one year old adult who can handle things herself. The millions of children who go without every single day. One of these is not like the other. 

Take the opportunity to step back. To check your perspective on even the simplest and smallest events in your life. Find what's important... and act on it. 

Quotes...

“The generality of mankind is lazy. What distinguishes men of genuine achievement from the rest of us is not so much their intellectual powers and aptitudes as their curiosity, their energy, their fullest use of their potentialities. Nobody really knows how smart or talented he is until he finds the incentives to use himself to the fullest. God has given us more than we know what to do with.” 

“There comes a moment in every life when the Universe presents you with an opportunity to rise to your potential. An open door that only requires the heart to walk through, seize it and hang on.
The choice is never simple. It’s never easy. It’s not supposed to be. But those who travel this path have always looked back and realized
that the test was always about the heart. ...The rest is just practice.”  

“Every moment has infinite potential. Every new moment contains for you possibilities that you can't possibly imagine. Every day is a blank page that you could fill with the most beautiful drawings.” 

“It is a denial of the divinity within us to doubt our potential and our possibilities.”  

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a
listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all
of which have the potential to turn a life around.” 

Dreams.

Dreams are categorized in different ways. Some dreams are things we long for but are seemingly unachievable. While others are goals we hope to reach through hard work and practice. And the more literal kind of dream are the ones that occur when we close our eyes to sleep.

It is the sleeping dreams that I believe are the most personal. No one can ever really experience a dream of someone else. They may unknowingly be the subject of a dream or a minor character, but they can never really see or experience the alternate or ridiculously creative universe they were a part of for a brief period of time.

Except, there are occasionally dreams people have in which they claim the visitors have given them a very real message or reminder.

I had a dream last night. It was more or less the cause of an extensive day of thinking and talking about my babies. I had the opportunity to sit and share pictures and experiences with many loved ones. And my Angels were all that were on my mind the entire day. I longed to see one smile, feel one little hand in mine and give one kiss. And so my day went perfectly normal as I carried the memory of those perfect children, right where they belong, in my heart.

The last thing I looked at before I went to sleep was some of their pictures. They are getting so big! And growing so much! Some have moved to Casas, some have teeth, and others are walking!

I fell asleep and immediately through the memories of past... I was transported back to that place that has become somewhat of a safe haven for me, SVP. I walked up and down the halls. It was night time there and I just walked and reminisced. I went into Tres and saw a scene I had seen so many other times on night shifts, all my wonderful babies asleep in their cris. I picked up one and kissed him. I poked my head into Dos and reminded myself to come back for one special little boy and give him a hug. And then made my way into Uno and couldn't help but to smile at the teeny babies sleeping soundly.

And then my dream as usual, took a turn for the original. There were women there and they handed me one of the Tres kids (I wish I could use names!) and I felt his little sleepy head resting on my shoulder as I followed the women. I laid him down on a table and changed his diaper. I recalled his sweet laugh from a place far away and felt his fingers close around mine. (*hint for me remembering later this kid is an Angel!*)

I showered his face with kisses and placed him back in his crib. As I was being ushered out I quickly ran into Dos and lifted the other little boy from his crib. I smiled and he did his perfectly adorable, eyes closed and wide open mouth smile. I kissed him and held him close to me in a hug. I put him back in his crib and my dream began to do what they normally do best and transformed. Suddenly I was in the middle of an action packed dream where there were no familiar faces and no familiar faces.

But, as I woke up this morning I could not have been happier. My subconscious knew where I longed to be that day, and so, it projected a near perfect experience one that felt like reality at the time. I don't believe that I was doing anything other than having a good dream. Seeing their smiles and remembering a place I had been recently. And I loved every second I it. I felt compelled to enter it into my "online diary" so that on days when my whole being feels so drawn to them I can take comfort in knowing that access to those memories are only a nap away.

I am continually awed at the many things we take for granted. And most of them are as simple as a working brain that is wired in such a way that it can produce thoughts that begin to feel like reality. Just one more testament that we are children of a divine being, a King even, far greater than we could ever fathom.

And some recent pictures of the babies:

Initial Reactions... Quito, Ecuador

After 3 flights... (Salt Lake to Dallas, Dallas to Miami and Miami to Quito) and free dinner on the plane (it was actually really good?) I made it to Quito, Ecuador. This will be my home for the next two months and I can't wait! :) I am so excited to start working with the kids.

Quito is a city in Ecuador. It's actually the Capital of Ecuador. But, I am definitely in South America.

It's really late here (1am) and I have a busy day of orientation tomorrow. :) I can't wait! Ah! I am so excited. But, here are some pictures and yes... some initial reactions.

1. Everything, all signs, songs, pictures, posters, everything is in Spanish. 
2. I wish I knew Spanish. 
3. It's not a very clean city. 
4. It reminds me of like... Little Korea in LA but, not nearly as nice. Or as well lit.
5. The house is huge. We have security. And a passcode to even get in. I feel cool. And special.
6. I have heard nothing but good about the kids and am SO excited to start!!
7. The girls are all very nice. My new roommate is Brandi. :) But, all the girls are awesome!
8. I've never been to South America before but I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to go out of the US before this! 
9. I got to ride in a taxi! And listen to Enrique serenade us through the radio. 
10. I'm going to really enjoy it here. In fact... I'm going to love it!

And... of course... pictures. :) of me. Not the city. haha

Sitting on my bed in Quito! :)

Lovin' every minute of it. ;)

My welcome goodies and note from my new roommate!

My clothes.

Yes, they do have a closet to hang things. I am sure my mom is mildly horrified by the sight of my clothes rack. :)

The "not" piecey bangs...

So... my mom doesn't like my bangs when I do them in pieces... or my triangle shaped bangs. In an attempt to please her I tried to make them fluid... one solid bang. As you can tell a few fell down as they naturally seem to do these days! Anyway, I took these in between classes on Tuesday. It was actually in the bathroom on the way to my Human Development class. I know mirror pictures are SO middle school but, they seem to do me the most justice. 

Really, my life's motto goes something like this... "That awkward moment when the mirror says HECK YES. And the camera says OH HECK NO." I will never know why there is such a disconnect. 

Anyway, yes this is a post ALL about my bangs. Peace N' Blessins. 

Sorry in advance for the lack of a serious smiling picture. I think I ended up taking one?! That's alright though... right?

Left side...

Right side..

There's the smile! :)

I think this is the one that the random girl walked in on.... AWKWARD!

Construction...

While this could easily be related to the ENTIRE state of Utah at all times... this blog is not about the men wearing hard hats.

Just a quick snippet to say that the color/theme/background/font of my blog is once again under construction.

Another post to follow.

Things About Me...

My mom sent me an email the other day asking for a few things that people don't know about her... I thought she was asking for personal things. My first thought was she wanted to see how well I knew her. Ha. My second thought was that one of the boys said she did something, that she doesn't actually do... and she wanted to see if what they said made the list.

I was wrong on all accounts. It was for a Relief Society Spotlight activity. Whoops. So, she was unable to use any of mine.

Instead of posting the things I said about her... or the actual list she turned in... I figured I would post a few things maybe you do (or don't) know about me... here goes:

1. The boy/man/guy (I never know what to call him) that I am absolutely head over heels for is serving a mission in Mendoza, Argentina. 
2. I prefer Sophia over Sophie. 
3. My parents are quite literally the BEST parents in the WHOLE entire world. 
4. I have 3 wonderful brothers who light up my day! (Especially random texts from Hayden and Blake... and seeing Chase).
5. I like to use the phrase "my boyfriend is overseas" as an excuse to see the reaction of those around me, bug my roommates. I say it loud and in public places. So, now they say it back to me. For example: "No Jenna, you know I can't go to the movies this Saturday night... you know my boyfriend is overseas."
6. After/while it's snowing... I like to walk through the snow just to see my footprints. 
7. I have 3 half rings that I wear. I love them!
8. I wear two CTR rings. I guess so I never forget? Or just out of habit. 
9. Despite popular belief my social life hasn't been too crazy this semester or last semester... in fact the average bed time in our apartment is around... 12am/Midnight. 
10. I love reading but, haven't read an actual book for fun since last summer. 
11. My mom once said... people spend their money in different ways (after commenting on how could so and so afford to fly to somewhere when they had so many kids... why wouldn't they spend that on their not so nice house?!) I decided I want a nice house (doesn't have to be super big) but, it has to be super clean, well decorated and a good, wholesome, fun place to be. But, that I want to spend my money on plane tickets, hotel rooms and food. Because I want my family to travel the world
12. I really hate that I bite my nails. Even if I act like it doesn't bug me. 
13. I am incredibly self conscious about gaining weight in my stomach... pregnancy should be fun. 
14. I can't leave the house without earrings, a watch and a belt. 
15. I love beanies. I miss my long hair when I see people with straight hair. But, I do like my short hair. 
16. I would rather be hot than cold. But, my hands (when in Utah) are ALWAYS cold. It's weird. Even as I type... they are freezing. Must be poor circulation or something. 
17. My favorite colors have changed from what they were when I was little. I now really like purple. And orange. (I still like blue and green though).
18. I can touch and move back and forth my uvula (punching bag in the back of your throat) with my tongue... without choking. Admit it... you just tried to do that!
19.  I am still outgoing. But, when I come to a group of people that already know each other (like... getting a new job) I am more shy than usual. 
20. I can't cut a straight line with scissors.
21. If I am cooking/making a poster/any sort of activity, I can't ever go without spilling something on me, covering my hands, finding residue in random places on me later or getting something on my face.
22. I can play the piano. But, I can't sing. Or dance. I have no ability to make my movements fluid. Or to a beat. 
23. I am going to be an elementary school teacher! I want to teach k-3 but, my license will go from k-6. 
24. Aside from going to Ecuador this summer... I will also be spending the second half of my summer in NC lifeguarding and hanging with my family.
25. I had to make it an even 25 for OCD reasons... That counts as one right?

That's not everything about me... or even everything UNIQUE about me. But, I tried to come up with the obscure. Stuff you wouldn't just know. :)

National Grunge Month...s?

Winter has come... or has it? It's not exactly a snowy winter wonderland... instead it's like a sunny almost warm with a bitter wind desert. Well, we have had some rain so that is not all entirely true.

However, what IS true is that winter semester is my grunge season. Which is why I find it amazing that I was able to find a boy last winter AND keep him around all semester! It must've been my irresistible charm. (If my mom is reading this... I hope she remembers back to when I first made my blog and she said charming was NOT a word to describe me! ;) hahaha).

Back to William. Just kidding. Back to my inevitable season of the grunge. Which kinda sounds a lot like the scary movie the Grudge... and it does have some resemblance to that plot... just with less Asians, no creepy undead woman shows up in my bed and I am hardly Sarah Michelle Gellar.

It does involve waking up a lot of mornings and MENTALLY putting on a hoodie. But, usually my desire to look semi presentable kicks in and I end up wearing not just actual clothes, but heels or boots instead of my comfortable but, not quite weather appropriate Toms. (Which... if I have any independently wealthy readers out there who could spare some extra change for the Save a Sophia Fund... I need a new pair of those. Mine have 2 giant holes in which my toes stick out. I also want a pair of purple vans. But, I want the Toms for comfy shoes for Ecuador... see next post for more details.)

What I have come to expect as the norm is that the hood of my sweatshirt usually snags on the tail end of January and I'm stuck. I got all these new clothes from Christmas and I have worn them and impressed my bosses and friends with how stylish I am (when all credit really goes to my Mom!) and then my feet get tired of wearing high heeled shoes or low heeled boots and I wake up dreading getting dressed. Not every day by any means because I do love my clothes. Except that with my haircut I feel like an adolescent boy and don't know that I can wear certain styles anymore.. for fear that I look like a man or a lesbian. I think I am going to grow it out. The lady at Aveda gave me a very... "boyish" cut. And because I am too poor to attend a good salon (especially after Ecuador), I think it only best that I grow it out.

Back to that horror season I was telling you about... the Grunge. It is more of a mental grunge. And then I wear something that does in fact look cute and I like it. And I walk out the door with my head held high. And think... well, don't I look cute. That doesn't excuse the fact that for the first 30 minutes of that morning I struggled with thoughts between a cute cardigan and a pull over hoodie.

Today I rebelled. Today I broke records. Today... I wore a pink Oxford hoodie that my mom brought back from England to try and look both girly and cultured. But, that wasn't the real rebellion. I very RARELY if ever wore a tshirt (an actual t shirt) to high school, I think I wore sweats occasionally on exam day but, I NEVER EVER (owned? Except for sports) wore tennis shoes to school. Not once. I had rainbows, flip flops, sandals, ugg boots (2 different pairs), cowboy boots, and flats (which I rarely wear as well). But, I never slid on those tennis shoes and went to school. (Though I was guilty of the hoodie). Today, my boss told me "Not even on my very best day do I look half as good as you on your worst." A few weeks ago she said "You always look so nice." Just last week she said "that is a cute top where did you get it?" Another observation by boss "is your mom really well put together? I could tell from the way you dress."

I lost my train of thought. Basically... I never wear a hoodie to school. My reasoning? I can literally feel my cute clothes glaring at me through my closet doors, from the shelves in the hallway and peeking out from under my bed.

Today, along with that classy pink sweatshirt... I wore tennis shoes. WHAT?! And my feet love me for it. I know. I can hardly believe it either. But, I finally HAVE tennis shoes. And they are cute! And, I work out so they are one less thing to stuff in my bag.

To my fellow women of the world I say... wear those tennis shoes in public. Not everyday. And I probably won't wear them again except at the gym (or to and from or when playing sports). But, wear them. It's weirdly liberating. And with the chopping off of my hair... that seems to be what I am all about!

Spice things up by dressing things down. If I did it... so can you. Well, I guess the only way that is really applicable is if I say... MY MOM DID IT... so can you. So, for now... I'll work on her. And her pristine white tennis shoes that see the black rubber of the treadmill and the inside of her closet.

She's the greatest.

Walk on. (Did you see what I just did there?)

And by dress cute... I mean EXCLUDING dresses and skirts. Those are for Sunday only. Those are much too cold and uncomfortable to walk around in all day.

End With a Random Bang...

Goodbye January 2012... and good riddance.

Well, not exactly good riddance. This month has been a pretty good one actually. It's had its ups and downs but, overall I've liked it. I guess the good riddance is more or less a "goodbye January... wish you were January 2013 but, beggars can't be choosers.." kinda good riddance.

Life is good, ya know? I have friends here in Utah, back in NC and now scattered across the world that mean the world to me. I have family here in Utah, back in NC and scattered across the country who are far too good to me. And, I have an amazing guy serving the Lord in Argentina. I'd like to say he's all mine but, well... on a mission it's kinda 75-25% with the 75 belonging to the man upstairs. And it's probably more than 75%.

I have a job. I have a car. I have an iPhone. I have thousands of dollars in clothing, jewelry and other merchandise that I am so very thankful for.

In conclusion... I am blessed. January has been good to me. I'm 20! Weird? Yes.

Can you believe it... I am no longer in that "don't call me a teen but, I'm not yet an "adult" " kind of phase. I can now proudly announce my age in a room full of college kids without feeling like a baby. I am now starting to realize that I am getting older. It's kind of a weird "coming of age" kind of knowledge. Like... I know that it's all uphill from here. I'm only getting older. I mean back in the day who cares if you are 13 or 14... no one. You're still young. But, once you hit 20.. next thing you know you're 26 and saying "wow I'm getting old..." then it's 33 "and you think... I'm not really 30 flirty and thriving (13 going on 30 shout out)...I'm getting older." And then you have kids and they are out of the house and the next thing you know you have grandkids and you're retired.

So, what we've learned is that from here on out I am officially to use the phrase "man, I'm getting old." And I also can complain about my back hurting, my brain not working like it used to, I can say mean, judgmental things and people will justify it by saying "she's just getting old", I am now entitled to use the phrase "back in my day", and will probably get some reading glasses (if only for show) by the end of this school year.

I got my tape player yesterday. It finally came in the mail. And by finally came I mean... I got my money back from the mean Chinese people who never sent my first one and bought it from a new company. Sure it was more expensive... but it also came the next day. NOW there is something to complain about... eBay. Who has actually had a lifetime of pleasant experiences when buying things off eBay. No one that's who. It's such an amazing site full of steals and deals... and also full of literal steals and scams.

But, overall this has been a January for the books. I started my first ever diet. I kinda hate every second of it some days. When I want to eat every cake, cookie, and peanut (Nan ALWAYS has a tempting bowl of peanuts in our office) in sight. And that's a big deal cause I don't even like sweets. More often than not I am craving a juicy burger and some salty fries. And a bag of Lays potato chips. And normal food with no exercise. And I'd like to just sit and pig out. And lose weight and build muscle all by doing nothing. Aha! I am indeed an American.

But, I love feeling active. I hate the activity some days. But, it's good for me to work out. I have my goals. Will I reach them in the next year? Haha keep your fingers crossed, pick me a 4 leaf clover, cut off that rabbit's foot and for the LOVE would someone please develop a recipe for delicious low fat/cal/carb french fries (preferably the ones that taste like McDonalds.)

This is random. But, this is what's going on in my life as of January 30, 2012. Again...  sitting here wishing it was 2013. BUT, whatever. Right? You can't always get what you want. And my morning mantra has become "Anything GREAT is always worth the WAIT." Kinda dumb. But, it applies to most everything. Right? Right.

Anyway, to those of you reading this and to me who is typing it... do something nice for someone today. Write a note. Make a bed. Clean a kitchen. Give a compliment. Smile at a stranger. Buy your roommate a cute owl shirt... (cough cough Jenna and Kara... see picture below)

(Don't hate on the hair. It looks WAY better in person. Trust me. It was a GOOD hair day today.)



It's never a bad time to be nice to someone else.

Peace N' blessins.

And say goodbye and good riddance (in a good way) to January 2012.

Movies That I Love.

Not just movies that I love... older movies that I love. There really are only a few. Maybe that's because I'm not remembering them all... I don't know. But, the top few that I can remember are:

• Anne of Green Gables
• Pride and Prejudice (The 6 hour one)
• My Fair Lady

Hair.

So, here's the deal. I wanna cut my hair. And not just a little cut... a BIG cut. I want to cut it really short. But, I am really debating it. Because what if I look ugly. Or fat. Or ugly and fat. Sure there are worse things than that... but, those are pretty bad things? Right? I dunno.

Anyway, I wanna do it. And I really wanna do it. And I keep telling people that I am. And you know what... I talked to this girl about it the other day. She overheard my concerns of looking ugly, fat or well... like Ellen. Any way moving on, she had a cute pixie cut and said she loved it. She said that there are 2 things I needed to know first:

• Get some earrings. You are your face. You have no hair to hide behind. So, cute earrings are key. I think I need to work on getting more cute earrings. 
• Be prepared to chant. Self esteem doesn't always come in a rich supply for girls. So, there are some mornings where she has to wake up and say to herself "I am pretty. I am pretty. I am pretty." Over and over again. No matter if you're head cheerleader or the girl sitting in the stands (Thanks TSwift for the inspiration) you can relate to waking up with a little less then "average" self confidence. On more than one occasion. Or maybe that's just me. 

Anyway, she also said that you should give yourself 3 reasons why you want to cut your hair. That way, you have those to reflect on. And if anyone says "you had such pretty hair! Why did you cut it!!" You have at least 3 reasons on hand that are honest and important to you. So, here are my 3:

1. Am I only allowed to have short hair when I am a mom? Why can't I cut it now?!
2. It will teach me something new. A few things. First, to appreciate me, for me. Second, to use make up to my advantage. More than I do now. Third, how to do a new style of hair. 
3. My hair has always been relatively long!
4. Who do I have to impress for the next... couple of months/year? No one. 
5. I really really want to.
6. I have a pretty enough face. Right?
7. I want to do something new with my hair. I want to cut it! 
8. It's only hair... it will grow back!

I guess my biggest concerns are these: my face is too round, and my hair is not right for it. So, after I consult with my hairdresser Falon to determine that: my hair is not too curly, frizzy or thick for this cut... and that I won't look like I have a dead rat on my head... Consider it cut. 

Here are some people you may know who can rock a short cut:

Ashley Greene. Or... Alice from Twilight. 

The prettiest girl EVER! Emma Watson.

Ginnifer Goodwin. We have a similar face.

So, I would do one of her cuts. Most likely. 

She looks cute. And hey! No earrings. Crazy. 

Halle... Hally? Berry... Barry?

Not my favorite picture of her. But, she used to be classy. Katie Holmes.

Kiera Knightley. Pretty too. 

Natalie Portman. 

Literal rocker... Pink. 

Oh... and just Victoria Beckham... Posh Spice.

Two of my favorite celebrities... or role models, if you will. 

I guess my first item of business should be to pick a cut. Right? Isn't that how you proceed with such big decisions? After all... this decision is like the biggest/most life changing decision I've made! Second only to choosing a college and a major...

I promise a Thanksgiving post relatively soon. 

The Worst Thing...

The worst part about being a girl... is well being a girl.


You're moody and you over think and analyze things. Which is super lame cause you read/hear/think one little thing and BAM! There goes your whole day. Your whole mood... and you get stuck on that one thing for the rest of the day. Or week. And you never know what was actually meant or how it all even started because you've taken it down this path with no return. Whether its a text, email or phone conversation... consider it over analyzed. Because you're a girl. Boo.

You think every thing in your life should be like a movie. Or maybe that's just me and my subconscious desire to be on the "big screen." Like today... as I walked across campus I had this elaborate "Daydream" if you will about how I was a secret agent... but like I was a secret agent IN A MOVIE. So, I planned out my moves and my outfit changes and camera angles all in my head. As I walked across campus in the freezing cold air.

You see couples and you think of "him." You all have had a "him." I don't care who you are. Whether he broke your heart, you broke his, you've never actually spoken to him, you're hopelessly in love or just have a crush on him... he's there. And he's not just there in one couple. He's there in EVERY SINGLE couple. Quit holding hands on campus... you're so cute I could vomit. Too much? Probably.

You listen to songs... and this is probably true for both genders... that bring back memories. And you listen to them on repeat. And you sing your heart out. And then you don't feel any better or you feel tons better. Normally it's the first and you just sit and over analyze and sing, or cry, or laugh, or smile, or think, or just sing because you're a girl.

Drama follows you everywhere. It's true. And I hate drama. But, every group has that one person who kinda feeds or loves drama... and it's typically a girl. And you think you may have escaped that person... or that phase in your life... but you would be wrong. Drama. Yuck.

You miss home. Boys do too. But, girls love their moms. And it's harder for them. Because if you're a girl... what girl knows YOU better than any other girl. Chances are it's your mom. Just admit it. I miss home.

You love school, and weekends, and hanging out and you want time to sit and linger, but you also just want time to speed up and for it to be the exact day and time you want when you want. And you know what... you can't. Time moves when and how it wants. And that's that. So sit down girl, shut up and enjoy the ride.

You can't just sit down, shut up and enjoy the ride... because guess what you're a girl. And if everyone isn't enjoying the ride then chances are you aren't either. Cause you want everyone to be having fun and doing well. Your happiness doesn't depend on others, cause you know you get to choose to be happy (or happiness is a choice/state of mind/being) but, it's just not as much fun if EVERYONE isn't having fun.

You have to do your hair. And make up. And dress cute. Why? Because Vogue, Glamour and People magazine says you have to. Otherwise you get categorized in the "what NOT to look like section." And you know what... I was tired this morning. So, I decided to stick it to the man. I threw on my bedazzled/rhinestone jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt and a hoodie. And my hair was pulled into a pony tail. And guess what. I still looked cute. Dang it.

Being a girl... is NOT the worst thing in the world... all the time. ;) Kidding. A more positive one later. Just needed to vent!