Bout Time!

The title for this post refers to many facets of my life.

For example: its about time that I updated my blog.

And also...Will is home. I repeat... he's home. For those of you familiar with Facebook you've already seen the "elopement" picture, Times Square "kiss pic" and a variety of other acts of PDA.

Let's go ahead and get the elephant out of the room. I love him. It's been interesting having him home. At first everything felt surreal. Talking to him on the phone. Seeing him at the airport. Touring New York City. Attending a wedding. None of it seemed real. It was all too perfect to be "real-life". In fact, there were many times when we would be sitting talking and I would get a sinking feeling and start dreading the inevitable "waking up."

While Will was gone he was in many of my dreams. However, they all ended the same way... with a 6:30am alarm blaring in my ear. But, I'll tell ya what... Walt Disney knew what he was saying when he said:

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

Reality is better than any one of those dreams. I wish I could say all this without sounding cheesy and mushy. I hope this isn't uncomfortable. But, for those who were with me for the past 2 years... it was worth it. 

OK. Anyway, couple of funny anecdotes and we'll be on our way. 

I landed at 9am in Washington, D.C. I got off the plane. I had an anxiety attack. I have never experienced that much anticipation, excitement and nervousness EVER. And I mean in my whole life. My heart was racing like I had just pounded 32oz of coffee and 7 red bulls in one sitting. My stomach was a wreck. I needed some serious medication. All of that disappeared the moment I saw him. Nothing else in the world mattered because... he was home!

We had dinner with our families and I was so thrilled to see my parents, Hayden and Grandma. It was a weekend from heaven! He gave a wonderful homecoming talk, we enjoyed a delicious dinner with his parents and some family friends and a fun car ride back to NYC with his parents. We spent the next couple of days exploring NYC and exchanging stories. He flew out to Utah later that week and we went to our friend's wedding. I love spending time with him. I love just talking and holding his hand. I love his smile and that cute giggle/high pitched laugh he has. I can't remember a happier time than when I am with him.

Anyway, so we also went on vacation with his family. Have I mentioned how much I love them too? I know in previous blogs I hinted at it (in an attempt to not seem too creepy) but, I guess I can now openly say it. I had a blast. Whether it was with his parents, siblings or nieces/nephews I loved it all. It really was so much fun. All of it. I love being with them. His parents are coming in August and I can't wait to see them!

There was one mildly embarrassing moment, however. We were playing a charades type game. His sister-in-law was up for the girls team. She pointed to me and Will and said... "you two are going to..." I immediately knew the answer or at least what she was hinting at. I thought of all the things I could say to make everyone feel super uncomfortable... like go to hot tub and kiss all night. Or finish shaving our backs later tonight. You know something mildly creepy. But, instead I went with the truth. I shouted "get married!" I got it right and she continued on. Will said it was cute. After the fact I was like... remember how I am THAT girl. Why? Anyway, I lived through it. And hey... nothing wrong with wishful thinking... right?

Long story short. He's home. I love him. I love his family. I love my family. I keep waiting for the initial... "love drunk" to wear off. I mean you can't really love a person that much all the time right? It's got to fade away at some point. Between the kissing pictures, walking to campus at 8am together and just driving around in my car, it never fades. I love him and that is the beginning and end of everything.


Picture OVERLOAD! (In no particular order)

4th of July Parade

On top of the Stratosphere!

The "elopement" picture!

A side trip to Paris!

Emma giving me a pedicure. 

Obviously sad to leave. 

What Will's "vacation" consisted of

Kelani, Me, Nan and our toothless friend.

Emma and I playing Pitreeka (Pictureka) in her fort. 

Kiss the cooks?

Hannah and Will. :)

Will, Me and Mallory (Will's Sister-in-law)

The result of having 3 brothers...

Anyway, ask me if I love him. Yes. Yes. And yes.

Butterflies

I wish I could convey the feeling in my stomach. I am so excited. I am sure I won't sleep a wink on this flight. I'm not even tired. I think everyone should have the chance to be this excited about something at some point in their life. As Will put it earlier on the phone... it feels like Christmas. Only way better. I can't wait to see him. I can't wait to see him. I don't even care that I am at an airport about to board a plane that leaves at 1am. I don't care about anything else in this moment in time. I can't wait to see him. Have I said that yet?

Up Till Now.

Up till now the past two years have gone by and William has been a Missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Up till now the only contact we had was through letters, emails and a skype conversation that his family so graciously shared with me on Christmas and Mother's day.

Up till now my emotions were stable (most of the time), my head was clear and my stomach was settled and fine (for those of you who REALLY know me, you know that might be only partially true ;) ).

I don't really know how to put into words what I want to say. The past two years have been a whirlwind of emotion. They dragged by, they really did. But, nothing dragged more than the days that lead up to his homecoming and now my flight to see him. I'll recount a couple of key adventures.

Adventure 1: His homecoming. William flew in around 11am to NYC. Which meant it was 9am my time. I was getting ready to have a day filled with 3 exams. Yes, 3 exams. I took the first and couldn't focus to save my life. Was he here? Was he safe? What did he look like? Would his parents send a picture? Was he happy? How did he react? Would he be able to talk to me? And thus, test number 1 went a little worse than planned. The following two were relatively easier as they were more of presentations and products than actual testing center tests. So, that's good.

Adventure 2: I call this clothes picking out. In short I couldn't decide what to wear. Nothing fit me right. Nothing looked good. I was short with my patient and helpful mother. I apologized later for that. I went to bed frustrated  but, I woke up and went to work anyway. At work I was texting my mom and Emma while deciding what outfit would be best. ALL DAY my stomach was in knots. Butterflies. I couldn't focus on ANYTHING. My boss realized that and called me out on it. I watched the clock. The clock never seemed to move. Was he anxious to see me? What was he doing? What was he thinking? What was he saying? When would I get to talk to him? Was he almost released?

Adventure 3: Flight issues. Long story short... I am on a red-eye to Dulles Airport in DC. I booked the flight for 12:30am Friday. Alls well right? Well... when I went to do my early check-in today at work that flight was missing. In case anyone else was confused... I missed my flight. 12:30am on Friday was the night before. Duh? My mistake I guess. Anyway, I got on the phone. The first attendant was kind of not the nicest and told me that to fly out would cost me $500-1,000. This was a big problem for a few reasons: I was so excited to see him, I couldn't pay that much for a ticket, my stomach went from excited to dread, and I have a return flight from NYC on Tuesday. When I was connected to a supervisor she immediately offered to help. Tender mercy? I think yes. She waived all fees and got me on a flight that got me to DC at 9am as I had planned. Moral of the story: Delta needs to use military time for late flights and I love the lady from Delta. I was ready to bring her dinner (she said she was in Salt Lake), babysit her kids or do just about anything she needed me to by the end of things.

For the past few weeks I have had a couple of mixed emotions. Nervousness: what would he be like? Had he changed more than I was able to notice? Would he still love me as much as he said he did? I knew I loved him! Did he know that about me? What would it be like when I first see him?
Anxious: I was so ready to see him. I couldn't wait. The days could not go by fast enough. I felt bad wishing them away, but not bad enough to stop. I was ready to be done with class, see his handsome face and hear his laugh! Excitement: kind of like anxious right? Basically I love him. And I was BEYOND ready for him to be home.

Oh, Adventure 4: His first call. I didn't know who was calling at first.. It was a NJ number. So, I didn't jump to answer it. When he called our conversation went like this:
Me: Hi?
Him: Hi!
Me: Hello.
Him: Who is this?
Me: Sophie? Who is this?
Him: Do you really not recognize my voice?
Me: N..YES! Oh my gosh!
Followed by me going into love-shock and him carrying the conversation. I was wondering who was supposed to be the "weird" one in all of this. And, that title quickly became mine.

Anyway, we talked on the phone tonight for 1.5 hours. Cloud nine. Instantly. Conversation flowed. He talked honestly and openly with me and I was so excited to give him a big hug the whole time we talked. I still am. The butterflies are still there. But, so is this cheesy grin. I am so excited. I cannot wait. Now remembering when he left feels like it was forever ago but, also went by so fast. I can't believe I am finally on a plane to see him. A day we only talked about. A day I thought would never come. And I am so ready.

Up till now I heard the questions: "You're really going to wait for him?"; "Will it be worth your time?"; "Is he really worth the wait?"

My answer was and remains the same... ALWAYS.

I. LOVE. HIM.

And just because I thought I would humor you... This video was a long time coming and I AM SO EXCITED!!!!

Good Morning!

SO... These pictures were all taken this morning. I know it is now almost midnight and I am posting this instead of homework. But, I have wanted to blog all day. I have been thinking a lot about the little things that make life bearable. All too often we overlook the simple things. Like those extra five minutes of sleep before your alarm goes off or the way your bed feels after a long day of work.

Today was a good morning. I woke up. I was tired. I was running late. I got dressed in a hurry. Fixed my hair in a hurry. By the time I was out the door I was late. Late for my 8am job. Sounds pretty bad, right?

Wrong.

I called to let my boss know I was going to be 5-7 minutes late. The phone rings. Alex answers. My boss isn't there yet either. Score. 

Late again. Great. There goes that $0.30 I was going to make. Except that as I clocked in I noticed something. I was warm. The office was actually warm. (Side note: it's always about 50 degrees in the office. Although it feels like 30.) So, I celebrated. With pictures, naturally. 

Anyway, here's to mornings that go great in spite of the odds. Good mornings make for good days. And good days are what life is all about. 

Right?

I know. I know. Not my "cutest outfit award" day. But, hey I was rushed.
We should all be happy I'm in clothes that match. Let alone the fact that
I am wearing a necklace. And a watch. 

Well This is Awkward...

So... Me and Mariss didn't end up going running at 6:30am. 

Instead... we slept. 

BUT in our defense we went running again that evening. We are running buddies now and I love every second of it. 

So for those of you who actually read and check in on me (Mom, Susan, Aunt B and Emma) sorry I lied. The alarm went off. We texted about it and agreed on a more rationale time. 

Anyway. Yay for running. When I get the money I need to get new shoes. Oh the life of a poor college student.

Just a couple of runnin' fools. 

Crazy

Welp. I think I am legitimately crazy. I just set my alarm for 5:30am. Why? To get up to go running with Mariss at 6. Yes, I do want to commit myself.

I'm not sure if it's in the water... all I know is that I've gone crazy.

No picture for this one. I can only imagine what a 6am run looks like.

Reflection: Letter to a Girl with a Missionary

A friend of mine just sent off a missionary. She asked me how it has been... which was a wonderful opportunity for me to sit and reflect on the past 23 months [today is the one month mark!!!]. I decided that I would write this blog the way I have written Will for the past two years. In a letter form. It's generic so hopefully some girl somewhere will benefit from my words.

Dear Girl,

It really hasn’t been easy. It is an emotional rollercoaster but it has been totally worth it! It's the best thing and the hardest thing all at the same time. It's wonderfully hard.

The first 6 months for me were long. They DRAGGED. He left in June and so the rest of the summer was painful. But, once I hit the 6 month mark time flew. The last 6 months have been pretty tough as well. They say that the second year goes faster than the first but; I have found it was that middle year that I lost track of.

Some tips… lose yourself in LIVING. Your biggest regret will be looking back on the 2 years and saying “I wish I had…” even if you do end up with Elder [Name]. You will regret all the times you didn’t do anything UNLESS, of course, you enjoy that. I want to make that clear. Do what makes you happy. He is not sitting on his butt and I guarantee he doesn’t expect you to be either. Take chances and travel. I went to Ecuador and did a service trip. I was able to get a glimpse at the 100% lifestyle that William was living. I fell in love with the country, the people and I have such a stronger desire, love and testimony of service.

Go out on dates. It can be hard. Dating can be hard. Go when you are ready. If you are ready after 2 months go. If it takes you 6 months, a year, or never that’s fine too. Your relationship is between the two of you. Don’t let other people tell you what is right or wrong. Just be happy! If you know that what you are doing right, who can tell you any differently?
 But, don’t tell him about them. You may say you won’t date but, don’t be afraid of a first date. Some of them are really fun. Be upfront. Some boys will hear missionary and turn and run while others will try and “win you over.” Always be honest with the ones who stay. If they have no chance let them know. But, do it kindly. It doesn’t always end badly. I know that from experience. Make friends. When you go into a new ward don’t broadcast you have a “missionary.” For me, I kept it on the DL for the general public. Most people just treat and look at you differently. A lot of guys aren’t interested in even trying to be friends. So, just reserve it for the people who mean the most to you. It’s tough.

One day you’re on top of the world and the next you’re missing him so bad you just want to crawl under your bed and stay there. That’s normal. Some weeks you’ll live letter to letter. Try to keep him focused. As much as you think you are a distraction you aren’t. Tell him about your thoughts, feelings and hopes! He will do the same. Ask him about his experiences and thoughts. As you get to know him better the letters will become that much better. Just because they aren’t always 100% gospel oriented doesn’t mean he isn’t “focused.” What William and I said from the get go was that we were excited to get to know each other on a whole different level. This was without any social or physical interaction. I would not trade the feeling I get when I see his handwriting on an envelope for really anything. I love it. I feel like I have gotten to really know HIM. And not just what kind of music or movies he likes. But, the real intent of his heart. It’s wonderful.


Packages can get expensive! Anything you put in the package will likely cost less than the actual cost of postage. William is in South America. They worship the Virgin Mary. So, apparently putting her picture on the outside of the box will keep people from opening it. He teases me for doing that… but, they have all made it there thus far! Also, they love socks. They walk a lot and there is nothing that can be said for a nice, comfortable pair of socks. Food. Non-perishable and candy is ALWAYS a good idea. Let’s see… I did a couple of different package ideas. For Christmas I mailed him a box with 12 like Christmas themed paper bags with a note card on the outside. On each notecard I wrote “On the __ day of Christmas…” I made them rhyme and they all had to do with things he could use there, little toys (P-days can get boring) and just random things. The dollar store becomes a good hang out spot. Most of what you send him should be small if it is meant to be kept. He has all of his clothes and belongings to bring from area to area and limited bag space. So, most of the little “knick-knacks” I sent, I said enjoy these and then give to a little kid who has nothing to do, needs to focus in church, did good in a lesson or is alone in the street. For Valentine’s Day I sent him chocolate, socks, and a deck of cards and on each I put 1 thing I loved about him. So, he had 52 things I loved about him. I tried to keep them cute, sweet and nothing super mushy. Um, pictures. They love pictures. On the back of pictures I always write a cute little something or a summary. He does the same. For his one year mark I decorated a box (this one is extensive!) Ha. So, I took a white box and decorated it. Then I wrote 52 letters. They weren’t like 4 pages each. Most started with a quote and had some sort of theme. So like Love- with a quote. Or Hope with a quote. And then I just put how I felt about each of those things and of course ended with how great he was or how I loved what he was doing and how proud of him I was etc… I sealed each of them and wrote the Monday to be opened on the front. So, this upcoming Monday he has a letter that is for 5/20/13. It was just a fun subconscious way for him to count down. He started with 52 and after this Monday he will have 4 left. The last letter is to be opened on the plane ride home. It just talks about how excited I am to see him, how great he is, how proud of him I am and how I really am so glad he valiantly dedicated an entire two years of his life to such a noble cause.

A big thing that we both have stressed is obedience. Obedience brings blessings but, strict obedience brings miracles. And so, for that reason I have always expected him to keep the mission rules as best he can especially where I am concerned!

Oh! Tell your friends how much you miss him. Not him. It is ok to say miss you but, don’t go into too much detail. There have been many times I have gone on a long drive just to cry or think. But, I haven’t told William about those. It would make it harder on him if he knew that it was hard for me! That is also a common misconception. It is ten times harder for the girl than it is for the missionary. They have a distraction. They have something to channel their mind, soul and energy into. We have nothing. We have school and the day to day activities. Work on finding things to occupy your time. I was very blessed to find good girl friends that enjoyed just goofing off. None of us were looking for marriage and so we all just had a blast.

A strength for me has been his family. As I have gotten to know them, I have become closer to him. They are some of the most important people in his life and they have become some of the most important in mine. They make it easier. They are going through just what you are. Rely on them. They can be a great comfort and so kind. I can and will always love his family.

Again, find opportunities to serve. Don’t get caught up in the fact that he is gone. Don’t dwell on it. It won’t change anything. Through all the heartache, William (and Elder [Name]) are exactly where we want them to be. LIVE YOUR LIFE. Travel. Learn. Grow. Make relationships. Throw yourself into your callings. Get involved at school. Make good friends. Make memories. I have gone on dates. I have made amazing friends. I have become a better person. I have strengthened my testimony. I have traveled. I have served. Even though for 2 years at BYU I didn’t have a “boyfriend” I never felt like I wasted my time. I spent the two years finding out more about myself. Who I am. What I need. What I enjoy. You really get a good opportunity to stop being ‘you’ and boyfriend and just be ‘you’. It is so great to discover that everything you want in life, your happiness and your success is, has and always will be in your hands.

I can’t stress enough improving yourself. Rely on the Lord. Pray. It’s what he is doing. You want him to come back different. You want to be different when he comes back. While he is gone he is improving himself. Make sure you are doing the same.

You can do it. It’s hard. But, it will be so worth it. Even if you don’t end up together. And you find someone else. Because the time you spent while Elder [Name] was gone you were bettering yourself. So ultimately either way you will be a stronger, smarter person! I won't try to paint it easier than it was. It was difficult. There are a lot of hard days. A lot of days. And by a lot I really do mean a lot. Sometimes when you are missing him like crazy the hardest part is to just get up and appear happy. But, there is a reason to be happy in every day. Some days you have to work hard to find it. But, if you look hard enough you'll find it. It's tough. It's tough. It's tough. Well, for me it was. Just ask my mom. 

You will always be grateful you took the time to improve. I have one month left. I have had a lot of time to reflect. I am so excited to see him. I have this incredibly strong feeling deep in my heart that we will end up together. But, on the VERY off chance we don’t I don’t regret anything about these two years. William always refers to his mission as “the best two years FOR his life.” I have tried to make it the best two years for mine as well. 

Love you girl. You can do this.