Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Thanksgiving Break!!

I want to be more creative and less "loggish," but how do you tell about an elapsed period of time without it coming off as a planner or schedule of your day to day life? Easy, you post pictures and tell a story about them. Right? I dunno. But, who cares that is how I am doing it!

The above pictures are of my mom, Marissa, me and my Aunt Brenda. :) We all were wearing black except Mariss who must not have gotten the memo ;) and took some pictures. Someone had the brilliant idea that our heads should all touch... so you get the first picture of me making it so each of our heads touch. Those 3 women are some of my closest family, friends and supporters (cheerleaders?). I love them more than I could ever write about.

Oh brother! Oh brother. Oh brother. I have to say it 3 times because... I have 3. I love these guys! Having Hayden and Blake out for even just a short period of time was much needed! I miss them all the time! They are wonderful boys. We toured Rexburg because Hayden may be at school there next year! He already got in! Stud huh? And Chase, is one of my best friends. He is always there when I need him. I loved having Living Prophets with him and being able to hear his testimony on a daily basis. He is an amazing man!

Me and my dad got to bond on Tuesday! I took a nasty fall snowboarding. First they thought I had a concussion, then they suspected a fractured C2 on my spine. All jibberish to me... but, it was enough to land me on a backboard and a fun ride in the ambulance! Party! :) My dad was so sweet and stayed with me the whole time. He has always been such a wonderful example of the type of man I hope to marry. He is also the very best man I know. And, I am sure he is up there on most everyone's list! I love him. I was able to receive a priesthood blessing from him and Chase. Afterwards the doctors came back... said "Wow! Nothing is wrong. We can give you the all clear!" And thus ended the bonding time that Chase, Me and my parents had shared. 

I guess the first picture should have come a little sooner. But, that is us snowboarding. It is missing Terry and Hayden. I know Terry took the picture... so I am confused as to where Hayden went?

I got a cute new sweater from H&M from my Mom. :) She's the best.

I went out for a night on the town with Mariss, a boy she "met" snowboarding and Tim. Tim and I went as friends, and guardians to protect my cousin if he turned out to be shady. Tyler was actually quite nice and the 4 of us had a good time. It was very bittersweet. I did have fun. But, memories came flooding back of William and our adventures at the Nicklecade and gallabanting nonsensically throughout Provo. Anyway, it was way fun! We went to dinner and I had greek for the first time... it was pretty good. Then we went laser tagging and played arcade games. It was actually a really good date idea for those of you who are looking to take that special someone somewhere fun for the holidays. ;)

I loved having my family come up. It's really sad without them just around the corner! I love being at college but, I do wish that they were closer than a 3 day car ride or a 300$ plane ticket away. Kinda stinks. They are amazing!! 

I loved having my mom there. Even if I was second best to someone else (sorry low blow? ;)  ) I absolutely loved every minute I had with her alone. 

I concluded my break with a trip to Salt Lake City to see the lights. It was for FHE on Monday night. I took these pictures cause they reminded me of my family. Because, at one point we were going to go see them together. They were beautiful!

The annual pink lights that remind me so much of my perfect mother. :) 

Other random facts from my break:
  • The Gantts and Martins also came and spent Thanksgiving at the Millgates. 
  • I got to meet Mariah for the first time!
  • The Gantts brought Georgia.
  • I was sick most of the break. Boo.
  • My mom made dumplings for the first time... they sound better than they look. And I am sure tasted amazing!
  • I went bowling, mini golfing and drove bumper cars... all in one day. A marathon event... yes. Well worth it? Strictly for the company!
  • I got to see Chantelle and her cute apartment.
  • I got to tour BYU-I and saw, kensington gardens and the mayan ruins. Didn't know they had those there did you?
Christmas break can't get here soon enough! :) I miss them already. 

Monday, November 28, 2011


So, here's the deal. I wanna cut my hair. And not just a little cut... a BIG cut. I want to cut it really short. But, I am really debating it. Because what if I look ugly. Or fat. Or ugly and fat. Sure there are worse things than that... but, those are pretty bad things? Right? I dunno.

Anyway, I wanna do it. And I really wanna do it. And I keep telling people that I am. And you know what... I talked to this girl about it the other day. She overheard my concerns of looking ugly, fat or well... like Ellen. Any way moving on, she had a cute pixie cut and said she loved it. She said that there are 2 things I needed to know first:

  • Get some earrings. You are your face. You have no hair to hide behind. So, cute earrings are key. I think I need to work on getting more cute earrings. 
  • Be prepared to chant. Self esteem doesn't always come in a rich supply for girls. So, there are some mornings where she has to wake up and say to herself "I am pretty. I am pretty. I am pretty." Over and over again. No matter if you're head cheerleader or the girl sitting in the stands (Thanks TSwift for the inspiration) you can relate to waking up with a little less then "average" self confidence. On more than one occasion. Or maybe that's just me. 
Anyway, she also said that you should give yourself 3 reasons why you want to cut your hair. That way, you have those to reflect on. And if anyone says "you had such pretty hair! Why did you cut it!!" You have at least 3 reasons on hand that are honest and important to you. So, here are my 3:

  1. Am I only allowed to have short hair when I am a mom? Why can't I cut it now?!
  2. It will teach me something new. A few things. First, to appreciate me, for me. Second, to use make up to my advantage. More than I do now. Third, how to do a new style of hair. 
  3. My hair has always been relatively long!
  4. Who do I have to impress for the next... couple of months/year? No one. 
  5. I really really want to.
  6. I have a pretty enough face. Right?
  7. I want to do something new with my hair. I want to cut it! 
  8. It's only hair... it will grow back!
I guess my biggest concerns are these: my face is too round, and my hair is not right for it. So, after I consult with my hairdresser Falon to determine that: my hair is not too curly, frizzy or thick for this cut... and that I won't look like I have a dead rat on my head... Consider it cut. 

Here are some people you may know who can rock a short cut:

Ashley Greene. Or... Alice from Twilight. 

The prettiest girl EVER! Emma Watson.

Ginnifer Goodwin. We have a similar face.

So, I would do one of her cuts. Most likely. 

She looks cute. And hey! No earrings. Crazy. 

Halle... Hally? Berry... Barry?

Not my favorite picture of her. But, she used to be classy. Katie Holmes.

Kiera Knightley. Pretty too. 

Natalie Portman. 

Literal rocker... Pink. 

Oh... and just Victoria Beckham... Posh Spice.

Two of my favorite celebrities... or role models, if you will. 
I guess my first item of business should be to pick a cut. Right? Isn't that how you proceed with such big decisions? After all... this decision is like the biggest/most life changing decision I've made! Second only to choosing a college and a major...

I promise a Thanksgiving post relatively soon. 

The Worst Thing...

The worst part about being a girl... is well being a girl.

You're moody and you over think and analyze things. Which is super lame cause you read/hear/think one little thing and BAM! There goes your whole day. Your whole mood... and you get stuck on that one thing for the rest of the day. Or week. And you never know what was actually meant or how it all even started because you've taken it down this path with no return. Whether its a text, email or phone conversation... consider it over analyzed. Because you're a girl. Boo.

You think every thing in your life should be like a movie. Or maybe that's just me and my subconscious desire to be on the "big screen." Like today... as I walked across campus I had this elaborate "Daydream" if you will about how I was a secret agent... but like I was a secret agent IN A MOVIE. So, I planned out my moves and my outfit changes and camera angles all in my head. As I walked across campus in the freezing cold air.

You see couples and you think of "him." You all have had a "him." I don't care who you are. Whether he broke your heart, you broke his, you've never actually spoken to him, you're hopelessly in love or just have a crush on him... he's there. And he's not just there in one couple. He's there in EVERY SINGLE couple. Quit holding hands on campus... you're so cute I could vomit. Too much? Probably.

You listen to songs... and this is probably true for both genders... that bring back memories. And you listen to them on repeat. And you sing your heart out. And then you don't feel any better or you feel tons better. Normally it's the first and you just sit and over analyze and sing, or cry, or laugh, or smile, or think, or just sing because you're a girl.

Drama follows you everywhere. It's true. And I hate drama. But, every group has that one person who kinda feeds or loves drama... and it's typically a girl. And you think you may have escaped that person... or that phase in your life... but you would be wrong. Drama. Yuck.

You miss home. Boys do too. But, girls love their moms. And it's harder for them. Because if you're a girl... what girl knows YOU better than any other girl. Chances are it's your mom. Just admit it. I miss home.

You love school, and weekends, and hanging out and you want time to sit and linger, but you also just want time to speed up and for it to be the exact day and time you want when you want. And you know what... you can't. Time moves when and how it wants. And that's that. So sit down girl, shut up and enjoy the ride.

You can't just sit down, shut up and enjoy the ride... because guess what you're a girl. And if everyone isn't enjoying the ride then chances are you aren't either. Cause you want everyone to be having fun and doing well. Your happiness doesn't depend on others, cause you know you get to choose to be happy (or happiness is a choice/state of mind/being) but, it's just not as much fun if EVERYONE isn't having fun.

You have to do your hair. And make up. And dress cute. Why? Because Vogue, Glamour and People magazine says you have to. Otherwise you get categorized in the "what NOT to look like section." And you know what... I was tired this morning. So, I decided to stick it to the man. I threw on my bedazzled/rhinestone jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt and a hoodie. And my hair was pulled into a pony tail. And guess what. I still looked cute. Dang it.

Being a girl... is NOT the worst thing in the world... all the time. ;) Kidding. A more positive one later. Just needed to vent!

Saturday, November 19, 2011


My family comes tomorrow. I can't wait to see them!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

What I DO Want in a Career vs. What I DON'T Want.

'I am often told I have a good head on my shoulders. That I an capable of many things. Well, why has been choosing a major been a major struggle/hurdle. An obstacle I am struggling to overcome. I am not one of those people who enjoy changing majors like 100 times. I don't do it for fun. I just can't ever feel good about any one thing. And I don't want to get a degree in something I can't or won't use. So, here are my two lists. We will start with what I DON'T want.

I don't want to:
• work 40+ hours a week
• work in a cubicle/desk job
• be gone for work a lot
• go one business trips for long periods of time.
• work an "on call" all hours of the day/night kinda job.
• feel like my job is my life.
• ALWAYS be working. (late hours at home, on vacations that kinda thing)
• be stuck and never be promoted. Or demoted for that matter. Though promoted is definitely preferred.
• be out of a job.
• struggle financially
• be the sole provider of my family.
• not have kids when I want because of my work.
• be in school 5+ years.
• get a random degree and an even more random job.
• work with corrupt people or in a corrupt industry.
• work where I am always on the defensive... Where I feel like my integrity and values are constantly challenged.
• work in politics.
• work and have kids.
• to always feel pushed for deadlines/stressed.
• be away from my husband for long periods of time.
• work stuck behind a computer.
• be a face in the crowd.
• not be motivated or feel supported
• to be limited on time I have to spend with my family, church, church callings and my community.
• to work somewhere that has low expectations for employees.

Now... On to what I DO want.

I want to:
• Make a difference
• work with kids.
• be able to afford nice things.
• be able to go on vacation.
• know I am doing something good and worthwhile.
• have opportunity to be an example.
• come home for dinner every night. I'd like to be the one fixing or helping to fix it too.
• have some free time.
• be good at what I do.
• do something that CAN be fun.
• graduate in 4 years.
• to travel (not necessarily for my job)
• my co-workers to know my husband.
• to get married.
• be in shape... Same size I am now would be nice.
• to feel needed/appreciated/vital
• have time for myself
• eventually be a stay at home mom
• have creativity in the workplace (not routine day in day out as well as I what I do/create/say)
• work with people.
• work FOR people. (people as a collective whole. Not like under a boss or for a boss. Though I am not above working for a boss).
• feel myself being challenged and growing.
• have time to enjoy the little things.
• find a job where I can live my values and beliefs.
• feel uplifted at my job.
• want to wake up and go to work.
• work with kids. Have some interaction. Or help them.
• KNOW that what I'm doing is right.

Now... On to choose a major. Thats the hard part. :/

Wish me luck.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Without You...

I know to most of you who read the title immediately thought... "Oh great. Another post about that boy on a mission." And to you I say, you're rude.

To everyone else... the post is actually about YOU. Yes, seeing as the majority of my friends and family I am around all the time, up here in Provo Utah, don't read my blog... this post is about you.

The title is partly an attempt at me getting creative and thought provoking and partly as a result of today's "pop" music. I have a couple songs I listen to on repeat several times in a row. Both of them share the same name. "Without You."

Links are posted below. The first link I think most people will like... it's not one of those songs that just us youngsters listen to. It's one that the lyrics speak to anyone who has ever had any form of love in their life. I pity those who shy away from love. "It is better to have loved and lost, than to never love at all.":

The second... well, it's pop. And it makes you wanna go clubbing, dance around your apartment and belt out the meaningless lyrics at the top of your lungs.. or a weird combination of the 3. And among all the hip shaking and weird looks from people who just DON'T know what real talent is... you find that maybe you can relate to these meaningless lyrics. And that's the beauty of music isn't it? That you can relate to something that has no meaning... or all the meaning in the world...simply from the lyrics and the way the music makes you feel. Without any further ado:

Anyway, this post and the next one are referring to how I am without all of you.

So... enjoy looking/reading about my weekend. And pretend you were there. Because I missed all of you. Especially YOU.

Weekend in SLC!

So... this is mainly pictures.

Friday... Genni, Hailey and I went up to Snowbird Resort. Their friend was leaving on his mission and had a party up there. It was fun. Since we forgot our bathing suits, while everyone else was swimming we made videos in the room. Then, we headed to Jenna's brother's house to meet up with her and do crazy things there...

Genni, Me, Hailey at Snowbird

Basically... I love her. 

It snowed while we were up there! SO AWESOME!

Saturday... We slept in. FINALLY. I needed a day where I could sleep past 6:30-7:00am. I was DYING. And it was much needed. We did craziness around the house till about 2 when we started to get dressed and ready. Hailey went to her house for a hair appointment so, Genni, Jenna and I went to the Gateway and went shopping and then out to dinner. Then we came home to watch a movie in the home theatre and involve ourselves in more craziness.

On the way to the Gateway. 

Genni and Jenna in the SNOW.

Me and Genni. I dunno what that spot on my shirt is... Snow probably. ;)

Jenna and Me. :)

Freezing in the SNOW!

Olive Garden!!

I made them take a bathroom pic. 


Waiting for our table!!

Sunday... the clocks got set back, so even though my body didn't let me sleep SUPER late... I still got an extra hour. That's how that works right? Anyway, Genni and Hailey left around noon because Genni was having a roommate dinner. Me and Jenna cleaned up the house, got ready and then went to Temple Square. It was actually really cool. Because we went to the South Visitors center and saw 2 guys talking to the Sister Missionaries. They looked involved... When the sisters walked away we saw the guys smiling and talking and we thought for sure they were going to follow the missionaries and ask them on a date... When they turned to go after them... we decided to follow the boys. Upon seeing us the quickly turned around and this is about how our conversation started/went:

Ken: Are you Mormon too?
Me: Yeah. We are.
Ken: Are you missionaries like them?
Jenna: No... we aren't.
Trent: So, then why are you here? Do you live around here?
Me: No. Actually we go to BYU up in Provo. But, we are here visiting her brother.

The conversation progressed and they started asking about the Temple, missions, marriage, tithing (they asked how much it cost to be a member of our church. haha), and then proceeded to topics I've combated before like God being an alien on another planet, NO caffeine at all and of course polygamy. They actually seemed genuinely interested and were really funny.

At one point they asked if you had to be cute to go on a mission/be in temple square because all the girls here were really cute (including us). I laughed and told him no. And he said well, there are a lot of cute girls here, it's a pretty good ratio. Then I told him that the sister missionaries can't date. So, he was bummed cause they were hoping to set up a further meeting with the cute sisters from Australia.

It was nice to be out of Provo and finally talk to someone about the church who doesn't know. They were very sweet guys.

Anyway, moving along. Now I am back in Provo. And that was my weekend. These next pictures are ones me and Jenna took at Temple Square and surrounding parks. As you're about to see... I wasn't prepared to stay so late on Sunday... So, I have basically the same outfit on as I wore on Friday. But, I only wore it for like 4 hours Friday. So, judge me if you will. ;) But, I added a scarf... that helps right?

Me waking up to the love of my life.
Did you know she smiles in her sleep? Like for real though. 

Modeling her fresh new outfit. Ha.

In front of the Conference center. 

Modeling as always. ;)

The cover of "hipsters" weekly. :)

Jenna. On a bridge. In a park. 

Conference Center!!

Roommates. :)

My mom gave me the side braid idea and I'm LOVIN' it. 



A hipster. (This is for you BRAT.)

We look good huh?

I love Fall. I want it back! 

Senior Pics. 

My raining leaf picture never worked.