Anxiety...And a Catharsis of Sorts.

I am ready for Will to leave. Not because I want him to be gone and not because I'm tired of him. But, I am tired of anticipating the day when my days of "normalcy" will ultimately come to a screeching halt. I can't really focus on much else other than... I can't even TALK to him come Sunday. He gets set apart the 12th and reports to the MTC on the 15th. What?

Just yesterday it was January. And Jenna and I were at some silly stake dance. There we spotted Luke and his roommates. Really knowing very few other people from our new ward we went up and introduced ourselves to the four (we already knew Luke) of them. I thought Will seemed nice. Quiet and very soldiery (which is weird cause I later found out he was in ROTC... it was just the way he carried himself?), but nice.

Today, we've been dating for a little more or less than 5 months. Weird that we don't exactly have an anniversary? It was more of like a series of days than just ONE day. That's OK. It makes us different.

I am going to write down the weird chain in which I know Will, so that one day later on I will realize how blessed I was to have some of the experiences I had both semesters. And to realize how much the Lord's hand really is in our lives. Even if it's only to look back with fond memories of my freshman year (I hope it is more than that... ) I want to be able to remember just how intricate us meeting was.

I'll start at the beginning. Room selection day:

1. If only I had listened to my Aunt Brenda and roomed in her old hall (Whitney) I would've met Will first semester. But, I didn't. I for some reason decided on Harris... mainly because it was SUPER close to campus.
2. I added Nikole Clayton on facebook as a friend. And as the day closed and I had 4 other roommates I quickly logged on and tried to stalk them on facebook as well. 
3. I kept getting a room swap request from some girl in Gates Hall. I never took it because, well I had "met" Nikole and really liked her and she didn't know who the girl was... so, I never took it. 
4. Thus, I ended up in 60 Harris Hall. 

Move-in Day:

1. Basically the most important piece to the puzzle here is that I met Nikole and Jenna. 
2. Also, a big piece is that Jenna was my roommate. And that she was from Indiana. And that she had very few youth in her ward and spent a lot of time 4 hours south... in her cousins ward... which also happened to be Luke's ward. 

Over the course of Fall semester Nikole, Ashley, Jenna and I bonded. However, we had a little bit of a clash with our other 2 roommates and eventually decided that it would be best (for all 6 of us), if we moved out. Ashley had found a spot in Fox Hall, Nikole was moving back home and me and Jenna were on the hunt. Ideally we wanted to stay together.

Room swapping:

1. I tried everywhere. Girls just weren't wanting to switch! Many had just never changed their swap preference from room selection day. Basically... a bunch of dead ends. 
2. I talked to a lot of girls who knew people who were moving. I tried with them, but really I just kept getting shut down! 
3. Finally, I logged on in a desperate attempt clicked on a bed in 232 Whitney Hall that happened to be orange. (Looking to swap). I came back later that day to find that she had accepted. I Travis, Josh and Jourden who were in that ward and immediately texted Travis to find out who the girl was and was her roommate trying to swap as well. 
4. As fate would have it these two girls wanted out as well. So, after much talking and asking (some other girl had taken Jenna's spot in the room before she could... so I sent an email to her) me and Jenna were BOTH settled in Whitney Hall. 

Jenna and Luke:

1. Luckily Jenna knew Luke from back home... So, once we found Luke at the dance we started hanging out with them more often. 
2. We even scoured both of our phones for 3 "cute, single girls" to come hang out with us so that there wouldn't be a 5-2 boy to girl ratio one night. 
3. One night when I was looking for something to do... I invited myself over  to their apartment and me and Will, Ben, Luke and Skyler went to Panda. We basically swapped awkward date stories, funny first semester stories, what girls/boys like on a first date and how to tell if someone is interested. That night Will asked me out on a date. He says I wasn't dropping any hints that I wanted him to and therefore was clearly being bold. But, he obviously wasn't picking up any of the hints I dropped to say the very least. :)

Just weird how it all works out huh? Basically the wrong hall but the right roommate. And then the right roommate with the right friend. And then the right friend with the awesome Will roommate. Just a weird chain. Something I want to remember.

I am ready for him to go on his mission. At one of my weaker moments yesterday my mom sent me a very insightful text. It basically said that I did deep down and at the surface want him to go on his mission. That it would be hard. But, that I wanted a man who had served a worthy mission. And this was his chance to become that kind of man.

I am ready for him to leave because I am ready for him to come home. I am ready for the future. I am kinda happy about getting mail. But, more importantly I am happy for him to grow into the man I know the Lord wants him to be. I am ready for my own growth. Both, emotionally and spiritually. I know William will make an amazing missionary. And I know he will do extraordinary things and that his example and words will be both sincere and inspiring.


I am ready to see what the future holds. I know what I want. I know what he wants. And, if my future husband reads this and it's not William, don't be angry. I love this guy. I will always have a spot for William Daybell in my heart. And as much as I am going to date around these next 2 years. And as much as I am going to work on getting myself more like the person I want to be. And as cliche and teenagery as this sounds... the next 2 years (unless he changes his mind), my heart will be in Argentina. And it's not going to be easy to ever steal it away.

We had it right back in elementary school.We laugh and joke at how serious our younger siblings, children or friends are. About how dramatic and "lovesick" they act. But, they get it. They understand what we don't. It's OK to say things like, "I'm going to marry him," "Future Mrs. (insert last name)", "I love him so much, you just don't know," "he is my whole world," etc... How often I find myself thinking the same things a 3rd grader or a 9th grader would about their boyfriend.

I love William Daybell in the simplest of ways. Yet, somehow I love him in the deepest. He is wonderful, he is cute, he is smart, he is funny, he is quiet, he is a soldier, he is sweet and kind, he is a leader, he is a missionary and he is, for the moment, mine.

More to come later. That I can promise. Now, I need to put down the cheez-its and call the kid. I won't be able to in 4 days. UGH. Goodnight.