Hmmm.

It's been almost a month since I posted, yet it feels like it's been longer.

I miss Will a lot. And a lot of times it's almost like a punch in my stomach. It's not just like a normal missing... it's very physical too. Like I actually feel me missing him.

Sometimes, I wish I had met him after his mission. But, then I realize I know that isn't true because I wouldn't trade ANYTHING for the 5 months we had out at BYU and then the couple of weeks we had this summer.

Sometimes I wish I could just go out and date everyone and not know that I would be comparing them to William. That I could be carefree. But, then I realize that I only want to date Will. That comparing them to him makes me more sure in my choice. That I, again, wouldn't trade him for all the Ashton Kutchers and Zac Efron's in the world.

People ask if I'm waiting on him... or if I'm going to date around. Why does it have to be one or the other?

I will date around. I doubt that I will have any serious boyfriends. But, who knows. For the moment and deep down I know I want to marry William Henderson Daybell. So keep your fingers crossed cause he's a catch.

I said it.

I am not waiting. But, I think he is the one.

That's what is so especially hard and painful about all of this... But he said to me once: "If we are meant to end up together, then these next two years are nothing but a speed bump compared to eternity." Gosh... world's longest speed bump.

I miss him.