Hmmm.

It's been almost a month since I posted, yet it feels like it's been longer.

I miss Will a lot. And a lot of times it's almost like a punch in my stomach. It's not just like a normal missing... it's very physical too. Like I actually feel me missing him.

Sometimes, I wish I had met him after his mission. But, then I realize I know that isn't true because I wouldn't trade ANYTHING for the 5 months we had out at BYU and then the couple of weeks we had this summer.

Sometimes I wish I could just go out and date everyone and not know that I would be comparing them to William. That I could be carefree. But, then I realize that I only want to date Will. That comparing them to him makes me more sure in my choice. That I, again, wouldn't trade him for all the Ashton Kutchers and Zac Efron's in the world.

People ask if I'm waiting on him... or if I'm going to date around. Why does it have to be one or the other?

I will date around. I doubt that I will have any serious boyfriends. But, who knows. For the moment and deep down I know I want to marry William Henderson Daybell. So keep your fingers crossed cause he's a catch.

I said it.

I am not waiting. But, I think he is the one.

That's what is so especially hard and painful about all of this... But he said to me once: "If we are meant to end up together, then these next two years are nothing but a speed bump compared to eternity." Gosh... world's longest speed bump.

I miss him.

Anxiety...And a Catharsis of Sorts.

I am ready for Will to leave. Not because I want him to be gone and not because I'm tired of him. But, I am tired of anticipating the day when my days of "normalcy" will ultimately come to a screeching halt. I can't really focus on much else other than... I can't even TALK to him come Sunday. He gets set apart the 12th and reports to the MTC on the 15th. What?

Just yesterday it was January. And Jenna and I were at some silly stake dance. There we spotted Luke and his roommates. Really knowing very few other people from our new ward we went up and introduced ourselves to the four (we already knew Luke) of them. I thought Will seemed nice. Quiet and very soldiery (which is weird cause I later found out he was in ROTC... it was just the way he carried himself?), but nice.

Today, we've been dating for a little more or less than 5 months. Weird that we don't exactly have an anniversary? It was more of like a series of days than just ONE day. That's OK. It makes us different.

I am going to write down the weird chain in which I know Will, so that one day later on I will realize how blessed I was to have some of the experiences I had both semesters. And to realize how much the Lord's hand really is in our lives. Even if it's only to look back with fond memories of my freshman year (I hope it is more than that... ) I want to be able to remember just how intricate us meeting was.

I'll start at the beginning. Room selection day:

1. If only I had listened to my Aunt Brenda and roomed in her old hall (Whitney) I would've met Will first semester. But, I didn't. I for some reason decided on Harris... mainly because it was SUPER close to campus.
2. I added Nikole Clayton on facebook as a friend. And as the day closed and I had 4 other roommates I quickly logged on and tried to stalk them on facebook as well. 
3. I kept getting a room swap request from some girl in Gates Hall. I never took it because, well I had "met" Nikole and really liked her and she didn't know who the girl was... so, I never took it. 
4. Thus, I ended up in 60 Harris Hall. 

Move-in Day:

1. Basically the most important piece to the puzzle here is that I met Nikole and Jenna. 
2. Also, a big piece is that Jenna was my roommate. And that she was from Indiana. And that she had very few youth in her ward and spent a lot of time 4 hours south... in her cousins ward... which also happened to be Luke's ward. 

Over the course of Fall semester Nikole, Ashley, Jenna and I bonded. However, we had a little bit of a clash with our other 2 roommates and eventually decided that it would be best (for all 6 of us), if we moved out. Ashley had found a spot in Fox Hall, Nikole was moving back home and me and Jenna were on the hunt. Ideally we wanted to stay together.

Room swapping:

1. I tried everywhere. Girls just weren't wanting to switch! Many had just never changed their swap preference from room selection day. Basically... a bunch of dead ends. 
2. I talked to a lot of girls who knew people who were moving. I tried with them, but really I just kept getting shut down! 
3. Finally, I logged on in a desperate attempt clicked on a bed in 232 Whitney Hall that happened to be orange. (Looking to swap). I came back later that day to find that she had accepted. I Travis, Josh and Jourden who were in that ward and immediately texted Travis to find out who the girl was and was her roommate trying to swap as well. 
4. As fate would have it these two girls wanted out as well. So, after much talking and asking (some other girl had taken Jenna's spot in the room before she could... so I sent an email to her) me and Jenna were BOTH settled in Whitney Hall. 

Jenna and Luke:

1. Luckily Jenna knew Luke from back home... So, once we found Luke at the dance we started hanging out with them more often. 
2. We even scoured both of our phones for 3 "cute, single girls" to come hang out with us so that there wouldn't be a 5-2 boy to girl ratio one night. 
3. One night when I was looking for something to do... I invited myself over  to their apartment and me and Will, Ben, Luke and Skyler went to Panda. We basically swapped awkward date stories, funny first semester stories, what girls/boys like on a first date and how to tell if someone is interested. That night Will asked me out on a date. He says I wasn't dropping any hints that I wanted him to and therefore was clearly being bold. But, he obviously wasn't picking up any of the hints I dropped to say the very least. :)

Just weird how it all works out huh? Basically the wrong hall but the right roommate. And then the right roommate with the right friend. And then the right friend with the awesome Will roommate. Just a weird chain. Something I want to remember.

I am ready for him to go on his mission. At one of my weaker moments yesterday my mom sent me a very insightful text. It basically said that I did deep down and at the surface want him to go on his mission. That it would be hard. But, that I wanted a man who had served a worthy mission. And this was his chance to become that kind of man.

I am ready for him to leave because I am ready for him to come home. I am ready for the future. I am kinda happy about getting mail. But, more importantly I am happy for him to grow into the man I know the Lord wants him to be. I am ready for my own growth. Both, emotionally and spiritually. I know William will make an amazing missionary. And I know he will do extraordinary things and that his example and words will be both sincere and inspiring.


I am ready to see what the future holds. I know what I want. I know what he wants. And, if my future husband reads this and it's not William, don't be angry. I love this guy. I will always have a spot for William Daybell in my heart. And as much as I am going to date around these next 2 years. And as much as I am going to work on getting myself more like the person I want to be. And as cliche and teenagery as this sounds... the next 2 years (unless he changes his mind), my heart will be in Argentina. And it's not going to be easy to ever steal it away.

We had it right back in elementary school.We laugh and joke at how serious our younger siblings, children or friends are. About how dramatic and "lovesick" they act. But, they get it. They understand what we don't. It's OK to say things like, "I'm going to marry him," "Future Mrs. (insert last name)", "I love him so much, you just don't know," "he is my whole world," etc... How often I find myself thinking the same things a 3rd grader or a 9th grader would about their boyfriend.

I love William Daybell in the simplest of ways. Yet, somehow I love him in the deepest. He is wonderful, he is cute, he is smart, he is funny, he is quiet, he is a soldier, he is sweet and kind, he is a leader, he is a missionary and he is, for the moment, mine.

More to come later. That I can promise. Now, I need to put down the cheez-its and call the kid. I won't be able to in 4 days. UGH. Goodnight.

The Weekend Recap.

Video games.. Obviously fast friends.

 So... Blogger is being whack! And not letting me start up at the top?! This is going to be mostly pictures... and the next blog will be mostly words. So this is just a slideshow. And Blogger messed up my perfect sequencing and scrambled the order... so, in no particular order... Here is the weekend!

This series is actually Tuesday morning. The day that he left. :(

I got a text from my mom reminding me to take pictures... So, I gave Blake the camera and here's what came of it!

 Blake and Hayden really liked Will. And they got along really well. Blake and Will are texting buddies. And actually Blake called him just to talk yesterday. haha

This is a picture of Blake... He climbed into Will's front seat in an attempt to strand Will at our house.

 It didn't work. :/

These are pictures from Monday! The fam. went boating. Which is always a blast! :)

Me and Will. He's on the left.

Me and Will.

Our epic high five.

Ha. So talented. Knee boarding and carrying a conversation. Somebody call ESPN. I'm a star. ;)

This is actually on the way TO the Lake?

Blake and Hayden. Studs... I know.

Hayden and Blake.

 

Blake and Hayden.

This is Friday night... I got off work at 8. Will had gone to Blakes Graduation with my Parents. So, Will, Mom, Dad and I went to see the 4th Pirates movie. It was OK. Definitely not anything to write home about..

 These next pictures are from Monday... We went to the beach! It was a lot of fun. I really do love this kid.

His first experience with Bojangles!

He forgot his sunglasses in NC, so we bought him another pair!

This was like his third time to the beach... to swim. So, I had to get a picture to document!

 After a day of playing in the water/laying out (Will got a nice burn), we met up with Heather for dinner. But, not before we visited downtown Charleston so Will could see the really nice houses, the market and of course Rainbow Row.

 And now were back to the Lake? So, here are more from Monday!

My wonderful Father.

Hayden,  Me and Will.

Like I said... not too wordy just an AMAZING weekend. Hope you enjoyed the pictures. The post above this one will have more to say. Promise.

Gone.

Will just left. He's gone. For two years. This isn't the much anticipated blog post, that is for later. When I can finally get the pictures off my Dad's camera. I love him. He will do amazing. This whole Missionary thing is very bittersweet. Time is going on around me... but I feel stationary. It's weird. I don't like it. That... and the tears I've been choking back the past 2 weeks came into full effect last night. And again, I am choking them back today. And did my best as we said goodbye. But, he's gone. See him in 2 years. More to come later. After I get out of this funk I've managed to sink into.  Till then...

Sorry once again...

I thought this would get easier! Ya know having more free time on my hands and it being summer and all. But, it has still been kinda hectic! I am working two jobs: Rita's and Lifeguarding. Sure, the money is good. And sure... what else am I going to do? But, Saturday was crazy. I worked 10-3:30 at the pool. I got home a little after 4pm and then had to be AT work at 6 at Rita's. In which I worked until 11:35pm because well, there were things to be done and I offered to stay an extra hour and help. No big deal.

The strange thing is... I really actually liked working both jobs in one day. It keeps me from sitting at home, keeps me busy, gives me time to think and heck, gives me money!! Not to discredit the fun afternoons I have with my Mom. I so enjoy those as I know that they will come to an end all to soon.

That's the reason I've not blogged. Because, really I work most nights. And I don't typically get on my computer in the day. I get up. Run errands with my mom. Go to work. Come home. Talk to my Mom. Call Will. Go to sleep. Everyday. What will I do when he leaves? It will put a damper on my schedule for sure... but we'll get to that later.

Aside from working, running errands and late night phone calls... I have become quite the traveler of the continental US. I traveled cross country with Chase (he has all my pictures from that), spent a week in SC with my grams and then an extended weekend in Virginia/D.C. with William and his family.

Chase has all our pictures. My grams hates pictures. Which means the only pictures I have to share are the ones from my D.C trip.

Well here goes! May 13th (a Friday actually...), around 10:40 I was packed and ready to go. I had to stop by the gas station and then I was on my way!

 

 I took two like this. This was the better of the two. I look not my best. But, I promise I looked better in person... I think.

After like 4 stops to go to the bathroom (my mom's small bladder is a curse I wish I hadn't inherited), quick lunch at Panera (they got my order wrong and gave me a salad as opposed to a sandwich, which is kind of a big deal when you're driving down the interstate), and a nice scenic route (the majority of which was on stoplight infested I-29. Thank you dumb GPS), I arrived at 5266 Ellicott Drive, Centreville, VA. Took me like 6 hours and 20 min. But, Will was waiting outside and seeing him was well worth the drive!

I was introduced to his sweet mother and newly-wed cousins, Dan and Kate, who all happened to be doing yard work despite the overcast weather, being engulfed in a cloud of humidity and the ever so slight constant drizzle! Things were definitely awkward at first. I got the grand tour and I felt good. I use the word good because I can't think of a better word... "at ease" or "at home" are not right. Maybe, comfortable is the right word.  I immediately felt like I would genuinely like his family. We went on a walk in some woods by his house. It was still too early to whip out the camera and things were a little awkward. I think it was taking me some time to adjust to the fact that I was ACTUALLY in Virginia... like I had talked about being for so long. It wasn't a bad awkward or uncomfortable at all... but, it does leave one to wonder what it will be like seeing each other after two years. 

That night we had dinner as a family on his porch. Or with his family I should say. It was prepared by Dan and Kate, with a little help from Randy (his dad). It was quite good and Randy had some Japanese sodas for each of us to try. Once again, I felt very comfortable. Like I fit in. His parents included me and while we got to know each other my idea was correct. I did genuinely really like his family. 

After dinner we just talked for awhile followed by kitchen cleanup and a game of scattegories. It was quite funny and I really enjoyed playing. I had one hysterical breakdown. Both from the hilarity of his father and the happiness of being with Will after 3 weeks (it felt far longer than that). I really could not stop laughing. It was semi-embarrassing. Anyway, we finished with more talk and chocolate cake and ice cream (Me and Will took a trip to the grocery store to buy it before dinner). My mom had sent me with a delicious chocolate cake and it was VERY well received. Everyone talked about it the entire time I was there and how good it was. Finally, his parents went to their room, his cousins to theirs and me and Will sat in the family room for about an hour (when his mom, Nancy, called down and said it was time for bed) and just spent time catching up.

The next day, the six of us drove into D.C to go to the Eastern Market. We were each given 10 dollars to spend on an item of food. We were not to collaborate as later that evening we would be compiling all 6 items and attempting to make a dinner out of it. I loved it! We got to see a couple of the monuments before we left. But, most of my pictures are from the FDR Memorial.

Right outside of Arlington. I believe this is a Marine Memorial.

One of the many FDR waterfalls.

William and his 7ft prom date.

Some bridge on the outskirts of Washington!

 

Dan, Kate, Me and Will.

I forgot to mention that we got a flat tire coming in... so that's where his parents are during all of this. We grabbed lunch at Ben's Chili Bowl (I think that's the name.) It was a little hole in the wall place but, quite good. We took some pictures there... but on Will's camera. Hopefully he is emailing those as well as the ones from his cousins soon!

Afterwards we went to the market. :) We all split up. There was this little bakery in there at which me and Will spent some of our remaining money on a cupcake. My mom was appalled, but it is a peanut butter/chocolate cupcake.

Obviously excited about the delicious find.

I <3 Peanut Butter.

In the Market!

After the market we made our way home. But not before I got to sit on Einsteins lap!

We then journeyed home. He lives about 25 minutes outside of D.C. and we just spent the time talking. When we got home, we just hung out! Will worked on his talk for the Priesthood fireside that night (he was asked to speak about "Preparing for a Mission") and when he left, I spent the time with Nancy in her vinyl/craft room learning how she makes things! It was really cool! I got to help make t-shirts for the graduating seniors in their ward and enjoyed being a part of that. It was nice to have some down time and talk to his Mom about him, their family and something she enjoys! When he got home and changed... we went outside for a walk... in the rain!!

I tried something new since his hair is getting so long and spiked it! This is us after our fun playing in the rain... which for some reason I do like to do. Weird since I can only do it on days when my hair isn't straight!

 
We had a wonderful dinner and again just sat around talking and getting to know one another. After dinner and dessert me and Will went downstairs to talk and watch a movie. I fell asleep halfway through. Again... clearly my mother's daughter. (Valentine's day was the movie we watched... or attempted to).

Sunday, his church was at one. I spent the morning sleeping and getting ready (he went to one of his friends farewell's) and eating lunch. William put the finishing touches on his sacrament talk (2 in one weekend!) and we were off! He gave a wonderful talk on the Baptismal Covenant. And I learned that he was baptized in the Susquehanna River (the restoration site of the Priesthood)! He did really quite well and I think will make a spectacular missionary.

Us, in our Sunday dress! I am not a fan of coordinating couples outfits. But, someone did point out that we kind of matched. It was unintentional. I swear on my life!!

After that we went on a walk. I think it was like 7 miles but I'm really bad with distance. ;) So maybe it was less than 2. Haha ah!

Monday, William and I got to spend the day in D.C. together. We spent the time riding the metro, seeing some sites, getting lunch and just enjoying each other's company.

I think I look weird. I'm guessing it's the angle?

One of the many escalators we rode!

<3... My Mom's favorite ;)

Visiting Arlington!

On the Metro. Headed towards...

The Capitol! Our favorite monument found in every state!

My Marine! :)

In the heart of D.C... or just on top of the world! See how clever that wording was?! Cause we literally ARE on top of the world. My computer is being dumb and not letting me press enter... So that is the reason for this extremely WIDE caption.

Tuesday was a sad day. (Sorry for the lack of detail as I progress further...)

Right before I had to leave. :(

Making my way home! :) Looking better... but feeling sadder than the trip up!

I had to leave around 11am in order to be home a little after 5. This time I took I-95 to I-85 and made it home a lot faster but, used more gas. So, if you are looking to save money go I-29 if you are looking to save time I-95/85 is your route.

I really enjoyed getting to spend time with William before his mission. I loved meeting his parents. I grew to love them both over just the weekend. They are wonderful people and have an amazing son to prove it! I really did have a blast. I love his other siblings! I have only met his 2 older sisters but I really really liked them as well! And just from the stories about his two older brothers I know I would like them too. I know this blog conveys very little emotion, but I had a great time. I wish I could've stayed longer or gone up again, but I need to work and time is very limited. But, thankfully he will be coming to visit the first weekend in June. He goes into the MTC... June 15th.

I truly am excited for him to serve. I am envious because I think that serving a mission at 19 is far more convenient than at 21. Just one more BIGGER sacrifice women are asked to make as opposed to men ;). I tease. I do love William Henderson Daybell. Not in the elementary school way where you get butterflies whenever that boy walks into the room, not in the weird middle school way in which you are doodling the boy's name all over your notebook/hand and not in the high school way where you are walking each other to class, driving over to one another's house and spending hours on the phone and computer texting, calling and skyping. No, I love him in the college kid way... which is a silly yet perfect combination of all three. I don't mean to get mushy or awkward... but this is a kind of journal so stop reading if you start to feel queasy.

Really, when I think about Will and those 7,000 "What do you want in a husband" lists I have thrown away over my years in young women's he fits every single quality. He is tall, handsome, with a sweet smile, strong...he has a good body and he has a cute hands (I know that's weird to say... but, some people say they look at people's feet, or ears or toes... but, I look at their hands). He is smart, funny, sweet, quiet yet outgoing, complimentative (which is a real word I looked it up just to be sure), motivated, respectful, kind and charming. His biggest and only downfall is his current career choice. Which happens to be the army. He says he is going to do some serious thought as to whether the army is his chosen field. I will be doing the same if things seem to be working out. We have two years to get to know each other over letters. Two years to figure out what we want to do. Two years to meet people, serve the Lord and strengthen our testimony's. I will not be riding the bench here at home. But, if I am being honest with myself, I don't know that there is anyone out there who can come close to meaning as much as William does to me. Some say that it's childish or dramatic and I'm only 19. But, Will is a blessing, Will is special, Will is perfect and for the moment... Will is mine. I like it that way. Because I really do LOVE him. I have used that word before in two other relationships. But never before have I said it with such honesty and sincerity. In the excited words and actions of Tom Cruise on Oprah: "I LOVE WILLIAM DAYBELL!"

And that's all I have for now. :) More on my working of two jobs, his trip down here and the dreaded/greatly anticipated MTC date of June 15th.