I am not having as much fun as I had anticipated for my first year at BYU. I do not get along with two of my roommates. I do not have as many friends as I wanted. I do not enjoy being here all the time. I do not have enough time for everything. I am not getting enough sleep because I have so much reading for school and work for school and want to sometimes go out and have fun. I want things to get better but, I’m not sure that they will. I have been thinking about swapping rooms. But, what will that change. Maybe BYU wasn’t the place for me. Maybe another college would’ve suited me better. I’m not really sure. I am down a lot of the time. I want things to change. I just don’t know. Really and truly, I want what I don’t have. However, I do have the gospel. I do have family and friends. I am at a college where I am making (for the most part) really good grades. I do have two roommates I get along with pretty much all of the time and one roommate I get along with most of the time. I imagined things different but, things aren’t always what you imagined them to be like. That’s been the hardest part so far. That and this roller coaster of emotions that college has brought. I feel like I am at home in my little dorm room. But, it’s not always a happy home. It’s not always where I want to be. I’m complaining again. I have something many people don’t. I have the gospel. It's Sunday. That must be why I am bringing the Gospel up so much. Shouldn’t it make me happy? I’m sure I’m not utilizing it to the best of its ability. Maybe I’m addressing the wrong issues in my life.There is more I can be doing today that will make for a better tomorrow. Times have been worse for people. My experience can get better. It will get better. It won’t always be like this. Things can change. That’s the beauty of life I guess. Things are only bad for a moment in time. Others have it worse than I do. I want to be happy. I want to have more fun. I want, I want, I want.
Oh dear! Sophie, I would have to say that you probably did have unreasonable expectations. The first time doing anything is hard,and many times we think other peoples lives are more interesting or entertaining than our own.Things will get better!
ReplyDeleteI think you should be comforted by the fact that many college freshmen feel the same way. Life is hard. Period!
ReplyDeleteI was kinda laughing, because from what I have seen and heard from your mom, you have a pretty active social life with a gazillion boys wanting your number!
The Gospel grounds you, and I know that you know that. We went to a cool fireside with Pres. Christopherson (one of the 12 apostles) and he said that there is nothing in our lives that the Lord cannot turn around to our advantage! That really gave me hope and courage for the lives of my own loved ones. I loved that counsel. Sometimes, we all just feel down. We don't want to face the everyday challenges of our personal trials. When that happens, I try to turn to gratitude. There are sooooo many things that I am grateful for, and when I take the time to list them, I know that they totally outnumber the irritating things in my life. Gratitude is awesome!
You have a great family to support you and friends who love and admire you. The Lord also knows when you are down and is ready to lift you when you ask. So do it!!!
You're too too cute for words and I know that you will have a great break and weekend with your Grandma and Aunt.
Take heart. Pray always. Be happy. I love you.